


Watermelon Sugar

by firelady101



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Ass Play, Ben Solo Needs A Hug, Ben and Rey are best friends, Ben is very sweet, Dirty Talk, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Finn and Poe are together, Fluff, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Smut, Friends With Benefits, Kaydel and Rey date, Kind of cheating, Rey is Bisexual, Romance, Rough Sex, San Francisco, Slow Burn, Sneaking Around, Well kind of a slow burn, just a lil bit, pushing away emotions, sex but slow burn on emotions
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-27
Updated: 2020-04-28
Packaged: 2021-02-27 06:07:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 20,999
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22252309
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/firelady101/pseuds/firelady101
Summary: “Rey-” Ben started to speak, but she talked over him, needing him to listen to her, listen to the speech she had going on.“I need you to be quiet now. I need you to listen to me because I have to be heard. Ben, I am so confused on what to do. I want you, and I need you in my life. But you are the only family I have. You, Luke, your mom, and dad are the only people in my life who I have. I can’t lose that because of this. I know that is selfish of me, but please let me be selfish. I don’t know what to do, Ben, but I know I need you.”Ben’s eyes now were looking up to Rey as she was now almost crawling into his lap, looking down at him. “Rey, if you want me, how come you only see this ending badly?”~in which Rey believes if she lets Ben love her, she will lose her connection with his family. And Ben respects that, but all he wants is her~
Relationships: Kaydel Ko Connix/Rey, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 17
Kudos: 41





	1. Duct Taped Finger.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi ~  
> I know I am not the best writer in the world. If anyone has any tips I’d be willing to listen... I’d love all the help I can get.
> 
> I have also felt really lonely and depressed recently. So this is a good way for me to get out the emotions I am feeling.  
> This idea has been stuck in my head for some time now. I was going to do a hot and steamy one-shot, but I started thinking about it a lot. This is something I can write for, at least a few chapters.
> 
> Also low key past Rey and Hux relationship! But nothing to worry about.

Rey looked down at her phone after she heard it dingle, telling her she had a text. It was from Poe to a group chat with most of their friends. 

Poe: _Would anyone like to join Finn and me for drinks and dancing?_

Finn: _What? I was unaware of this._

Rose: _Lol, I guess your boyfriend made plans for you._

Rey laughed, shaking her head. She had just gotten home from teaching her Friday night yoga class. Today was a good day for her; Rey felt like everyone in the class benefited. A goal she does have for every course she teaches, but not always achieved. She even had a younger student come up to her after the session and tell Rey that the yoga class was helping her with anxiety, and something she looked forward to every Friday! It had touched Rey’s heart. 

She put her phone back down on the counter, not yet replying. She was not yet sure if drinking was something she wanted to do right now, her therapist wants her to stay sober. But she has not seen any of her friends in quite some time. And she didn’t _have_ to drink, but she knew she probably would if she decides to go out. 

Her phone dinged again, this time a text from Hux. She shivered, forgetting he was ever in a group chat with her friends. Maybe Poe had texted the wrong group, because why would he invite an Ex of hers. 

Hux: I’m _down :)_

“Gross…” She said out loud, picking up her phone to text Poe separately 

Rey: _Did you mean to text Hux? Because I don’t want to be around him right now. I know what we had wasn’t that serious, I just don’t want him to get drunk and cry over me again!_

Poe: _I didn’t even notice that! I’m sorry, I’m sure Finn and Ben will help keep him away from you as best as we can, and Rose would too! Come out with us!_

Rey huffed, placing her phone down. She turned to her fridge, searching for something to soothe the munchies she has post-workout. R found an apple, and some almond butter seemed good enough for now. She grabbed her phone, dialing a number before walking over to the counter. 

_“Hello?” Finn’s_ voice came through to her ear. She placed her phone in between her shoulder and her ear, freeing her hands, so she was able to cut her apple into pieces. 

“Hey, Finn, are you with your loser boyfriend?” She smirked as she said it. 

_“Yes, but you gotta know, he did not mean to invite Hux! He is banging his head on the wall as we speak! He feels guilty.”_ Rey could hear Poe in the background say, “ _Fuck! I am sorry.”_

Rey rolled her eyes, giggling, “Okay, I will come. But you have to convince Ben and Rose to come here first. Just so we can have _some_ tie together, is that all right?”

_“Yes, we can do that, again Rey, Poe is--”_ He was interrupted by the sound of Rey yelling. “ _Jesus Rey! What just happened?!”_

Her phone fell on the counter right next to the cutting board, where she had just cut a small part of her finger. 

“Don’t worry! I cut my damn finger!” She cried out as she reached for a paper towel to wrap around the wound, “I’ll see you guys soon! Come around 8:30, alright?!” She managed to hang up with her pinky finger and still hold pressure on her ring finger. “Fuck!” She said out loud to herself. 

She went to her kitchen sink, letting the water rinse off her cut, watching as the water turned red in the sink. She bit her lip to try and not cry. She was a big baby! She’s gotten injuries bigger than this from rock climbing; this wasn’t too bad. 

After a few moments, she collected herself, got out her ignored her first aid kit that was under the sink, opened a drawer, and found duct tape, really only having one hand to do so, she wrapped some of it around her finger. “That will do!” Goddamn, did it still sting? She might have but the tape on a little too tight, seeing that part of her finger was turning purple. She shrugged it off and went back to her Apple and almond butter. Luckily she had cut up almost all of her apple, and her blood had tainted none of it. She looked down at her phone, there was a message in the group chat, as well as five from Finn, and one from Ben. She decided to check the group chat first. 

Ben: _drinks sound fun! What time works for everyone?_

Rey smiled; she knew Ben would keep Hux away from her tonight. It’s usually her he talks to most anyways. They have a special bond that she doesn’t have with any of their other friends. 

She checked the messages from Finn next. 

Finn: _Rey!!! What just happened? You cut your finger!!!_

Finn: _REY POE AND I ARE WORRIED PLEASE CALL US!!_

Finn: _Rey, please answer us, or we will be heading over there right now!_

Finn: _Okay, never mind. Poe says we have to finish dinner first, but we will be there ASAP._

Finn: _Okay, we’re sending over Dr. Solo!_

Rey grunted, sending a quick text back, telling Finn that both of them are worrywarts and that she was okay! No reason to have Ben come over. She opened up the message from Ben, knowing what he was going to say. 

Ben: _hey, Finn and Poe told me you cut your finger? They want me to come over. I know you probably don’t think I should, but I am walking over now :)_

Rey: _yes, I would have told you not to, but thank you. See you soon! Maybe we can get the party started without the others!_

Ben quickly responded: _yeah! They told me that you wanted everyone to come over before going out. I’m guessing that Hux won’t be there?_

Rey snorted to herself, putting an almond butter coated apple into her mouth, writing back to him. 

Rey: _ew! No way! Poe didn’t mean to invite him. See you soon (:_

Rey set her phone back down before heading to her bedroom upstairs. She lived in a two-bedroom one bath home in San Francisco. A luxury she would not be able to afford if it wasn’t for her grandfather. He owned a security company, one that he deems is the best in the world. It’s called Imperial Industries. He is wealthy because of it, giving her money was like pennies to him. She was very grateful to him, but they didn’t get along very well. After her mother and father died when she was very young, he had pawned her off to the Skywalker family and just gave them money to take care of her. 

Luke Skywalker’s father was friends with her grandfather when they were younger. Like and his family had a significant impact on her life growing up. Even his brother-in-law Han Solo had taught her everything to know about being a mechanic! She currently worked at his autobody shop in Daly City. 

His son, Ben Solo, had been like a good influence on her life. They were very close, even though he was older than she was. 

Ben was able to afford to live in San Francisco but on his own money. He was the lead psychiatrist doctor at UCSF. So he was especially useful to her while she had gone through a major depressive episode. Right after Luke died, it had affected Rey so much. It has been almost a year since something that is still hard to deal with. 

Rey has always had a crush on Ben, to some extent. It was a small one- she told herself this to keep her mind at ease- but knew it was something that could never happen. He was family to her; he probably saw her as a little sister. He might think it would be too taboo for them to get together. And Rey felt guilty about it, also. She didn’t want him to be uncomfortable around her. 

She got into the shower, pushing the thoughts of Ben out of her mind. 

~•~

  
  


Ben lives two blocks away from Rey, just a fifteen walk minute way.

He was alerted by the many texts he had received from Poe. And the voicemail, giving him slightly anxious. 

“ _Hey, Ben! It’s me… Poe! So we were just on the phone with Rey, and well. You know her! Trying to be all tough, but she cut her finger, I think? Do you mind going over there to check on her anyway? Also, she wants us to head over there before going out! Because I accidentally invited Hux… cool. Thank you!”_

Of course, Ben would go and help Rey; no questions asked. He knew she’d tell him not to come because that’s just how she is. As Poe said, she’s “all tough.”

But that wouldn’t stop him from going over there. He enjoyed being around Rey. 

He also very much enjoyed being around her more than their other friends. Not that he didn’t like them as well, but they were mostly Rey’s friends. She introduced them to her when he first moved back to San Francisco a few years go. And he appreciates it! He knew she was just trying to help and make him feel at home again. He just had more of a bond with Rey. 

Rey has always been a big part of his life. Whenever he’s had hard times, she’s the closest thing he has ever had to a best friend. He adores her; she is sometimes the only person in his life who has supported him. No matter what.

He has always admired her. Some would say he has a _crush_ on her. And he knows he does. But he would never act upon those feelings; Ben knew Rey would reject him. 

Ben shook his head, remembering why he was walking to Rey’s in the first place. Just then, he felt his phone vibrate. Ben pulled his phone out of his pocket to see that Rey had replied to his text from earlier. 

Rey: _yes, I would have told you not to, but thank you. See you soon! Maybe we can get the party started without the others!_

Ben smiled before typing out a quick text back to her. 

Ben: _yeah! They told me that you wanted everyone to come over before going out. I’m guessing that Hux won’t be there?_

Even though he already knew that Hux was invited by Poe o accident. Hux was never a good fit for Rey; he was insulting, cocky, and always thought he was the smartest person in the room. It was a wonder to Ben that that ever blinded Rey. He didn’t believe she loved Hux; it just seemed impossible. 

Ben was now down the street from her house. He’s walked this path many times with her, or on his way to her. He’s thrilled and grateful to have her so close. 

His phone buzzed again, this time a text from Finn. 

Finn: _Hey, Ben! Have you seen Rey yet?_

Ben: _no. I am on my way. Almost there!_

~•~

Ben had to wrestle with Rey to let him look at her finger. 

“Hey! This is the whole reason why Poe and Finn freaked out and asked me to come early.” He slightly glared at her, “So let me just clean it. It is probably fine, but if I know you at all, I know you will just ignore it.” 

Rey houghed, holing out her duct-taped finger to him. “I do have a first aid kit, and I just didn’t have time to use it.” Ben rolled his eyes, laughing a little. She handed the kit to him and sat down. 

Ben took the tape off her still bleeding finger, ignoring her hissing. “I still do not understand why you didn’t at least put a bandaid on it!”

“Because -- OW!-- fuck, Ben, you ar are hurting me. But I didn’t put a bandaid on it because I didn’t have time, I was bleeding. And I just did not want to take the time to put a _bandaid_ on myself.”

“Fair, but this is so bad, Rey. How did you do this?” He was wrapping her finger up with some actual medical tape, tight but not so tight that her finger wasn’t turning purple. “You don’t need stitches or anything like that, just put such an antibacterial ointment on it and let it breathe now and then.”

“I was cutting an apple. I am sorry, okay!” She looked up at him, locking eyes with his. She couldn’t bring herself to look away, memorized by him. This happens sometimes, just looking at him gets her in a daze. She shook it off, her face slightly blushing.” um.. Thank you, Ben.”

Ben was also mesmerized by her eyes; watching blush was very confusing to him. Did she think about him the same way he feels about her? Her eyes are so beautiful.

He shifted away from her, looking away, “yeah, no problem. Want to start the party? When does everyone else get here?”

She shrugged, “I hope soon. I’m going to make some dinner.” She stood up, avoiding his eye contact.

She got started to stroll around Ben in her kitchen, telling him about her day and how yoga was. 

” That’s great, Rey!” Ben smiled at her, watching her move. She was very grateful, as she prepared herself dinner. He was so lost in his thought, admiring her that he did not even notice she was still talking. 

” Ben! I’m asking if I can make you something to eat! I have plenty of food. And it’s not very good to drink on an empty stomach!” She walked over to him, handing him a glass, “this is just whiskey. Is that okay?”

“Yeah.” Ben smiled at her, taking the drink. “Rey?” She looked at him again, blushing slightly. He smiled at her and looked away as he started to talk, “why did you ever date Hux?”

She was taken aback by his question. “Ummm. I guess that when I met him, he was very charming. He treated me well when we first got together. And honestly, I kind of liked the sex…” she mentally cringed for saying that, “I’m sorry. TMI.”

Ben chuckled at her, worry, “No, it is fine. I have stayed in relationships for sex before.” She blushed a bit at his response. They have never talked about sex ever, with any context.

“Well… He got along well with my friends, too, and treated me well. Until I got to really know him.” She flipped the patties she was grilling in front of her. 

“I never liked him,” Ben said bluntly. “I never even got along with him. I could see right through him. His mannerisms felt so fake to me.”

“Oh, I did not know that.” Rey said quietly, “I think Poe and Rose got along with him some way or the other. I just am upset Poe invited him on accident, and even more upset that he said _yes_.”

“I will keep him away from you tonight. I promise.”

Rey turned to look at him again, “I will make sure that you keep that promise.”


	2. Just Ignore it

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Rey. I’m sorry. I told you I wouldn’t let him talk to you. I wasn’t paying any attention.”  
> Rey rolled her eyes. “You’ve been paying attention to me this whole night. How could you not know he was going after me?”  
> Ben swallowed, “I have not been paying attention to you all night.”  
> She laughed, “Yes you have! I keep seeing you look at me.” she looked down at their hands, still interlocked. She wanted to pull her hand out of his at this moment, something was just keeping her from doing it.  
> “I have just been spacing out. That’s all.” He said quietly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the positive feedback! I really appreciate it. I hope you like this chapter as well!
> 
> This Ben is a little soft, but not completely.

Rey was awkwardly standing between Finn and Poe at the club they were currently. She thought that Hux being there would have been okay, that she could have easily ignored him. But Poe didn’t” want to seem rude.” and included him in almost everything that they did.

When they were at her home before going out, they agreed to not make it awkward for Rey, and also give him the message that no one wanted him there. Make it clear that it was a mistake. He wasn’t even invited him. But Rose and Poe were talking with him.

Rey was trying to avoid eye contact with Hux at all costs, but she could feel his gaze on her. She looked around, trying to find something to latch onto. She turned her head to see Ben’s eyes on her. He was staring at her with no expression. Just staring at her, it made her feel almost naked. She locked eyes with him, and he didn’t move his eyes away from hers. Maybe this was because of the conversation they had before their friends had arrived at her home.

_Ben was sitting with his back to her bedroom door; it was opened just a smidge. She was getting ready, trying to find an outfit to wear tonight._

_“What do you think Hux will try and say to me tonight, Ben?” She roared so he could hear her._

_“I don’t know… Do you think he will even try?” Ben said just as loud as her._

_“Yes. If I know him at all, he will try and talk to me. But I’m not sure what!” Rey was standing in front of her closet in only a pair of tights. She couldn’t decide what dress to wear tonight._

_“Maybe about the weather?” He chuckled after he said that. “I don’t know. I am shocked he even agreed to come tonight. Do you think he thinks he has a shot tonight? I mean, Hux seems like a cocky douchebag.”_

_“Yeah. He could think that. But it would never happen in a million years. I told him to fuck off and die when we broke up.” Rey slipped on a gray dress. It hugged her curves in all the right ways. She felt very confident in it. She decided against makeup tonight; she hardly wears it anyway. Her hair was down and wavy, She slipped some booties on and opened the door to see Ben right in front of it._

_Ben turned to face her, almost blushing. “Wow, you look so beautiful.” He stood up quickly, standing over her now. She was so little to him.” Rey, you look stunning.”_

_” Shut up; I’ve worn this dress a thousand times.” She looked down, avoiding his stare. “It’s nothing special.”_

_He reached down to cup her face to bring her eyes back to his.” I’m serious.”_

_” Ben.” She said sternly,” Why do you keep looking at me like that?”_

_“Like what?” He did have an odd hunger for her today. Something he’s always pushed down, an emotion he felt like he couldn’t have. Why today?_

_“Like you want to eat me,” Rey whispered._

_“Maybe I do.” He said very bluntly, “maybe I do, Rey.”_

_There was a flutter in her belly, and her heart started to race. She placed her hands on his chest, almost to push him away. “Why? What’s gotten into you tonight?” Rey didn’t know what had gotten into her, either. She liked the way he was looking at her._

_Ben laid his hands on hers, pushing them into his chest more. “I’m not sure. But I think the same thing has gotten into you. Am I wrong?”_

_Rey was about to speak when she heard her doorbell ring. Poe and Finn._

_She moved away from him and went around him without saying anything. Tonight might be a bit awkward._

That moment had been playing on a loop in her head since it happened. When they were drinking with their friends, she couldn’t concentrate on what anyone was talking about. But she decided to ignore it for the time being. Ben wasn’t talking to her either, just staring at her.

_Why would he say that?_ She had so many questions racing in her head. Does he like her the way she wants him? Has he been pushing down these feelings, just like she had? Why did he say, “I’m _not sure? But I think the same thing has gotten into you. Am I wrong?”_

Ben was still looking at her from across the table, she decided to look away and got up from the table, “I’m going to go pee; I will be right back!” She yelled over the music, but no one heard her. Or they ignored her.

Rey was walking over to the bathroom when she felt her arm pulled, she huffed and closed her eyes, turning to look at the person tugging her. She opened her eyes to see Hux’s face right in front of her.

“Rey, um hi… you have been avoiding me all night.”

“Well.” She ripped her arm out of his grasp, “I do not want to talk to you.”

“Rey, you can’t be serious! I thought we could catch up.” He gave her a smug look.

“What do you mean, I ‘can’t be serious!’ Of course, I am. You are an asshole. I can’t even believe you came out tonight !”

“Rey. Your friends like me.” He glared at her, “And I am not an _asshole.”_

Rey huffed, “Yes you are an asshole. I’m so upset you’re even here!”

Hux grabbed both of her arms and slightly shook her, “I’m here because I wanted to talk to you.” He hissed.

“Get your hands off of me!”

“Shut up, and you’re going to make a scene. I’m just trying total-” before he could finish, Hux was interrupted by Ben pulling him away from her.

“Hux. Get the fuck away from her.” Ben growled, “you should leave this club if you know what is good for you.”

Rey looked at Ben with wide eyes. He looked like he could snap Hux in two. His face had little to no emotion, other than anger.

“Ben Solo. What are you going to do? Hit me?” Hux asked pompously. “You’d never dare.”

Ben’s eye twitched slightly, “just leave her alone. Please.”

Hux turned to face her, “we’re not done here. I’ll see you soon.”

Rey’s face was completely red with anger as he was walking away. “Fuck him!”

“Rey. Let’s step outside.” Ben ushered her towards the back door, “just for some fresh air.”

Rey didn’t say anything, just followed him out the door. Their hands were linked, something she just noticed. She squeezed his hand with hers.

“Rey. I’m sorry. I told you I wouldn’t let him talk to you. I wasn’t paying any attention.”

Rey rolled her eyes. “You’ve been paying attention to me this whole night. How could you not know he was going after me?”

Ben swallowed, “I have not been paying attention to you all night.”

She laughed, “Yes you have! I keep seeing you look at me.” she looked down at their hands, still interlocked. She wanted to pull her hand out of his at this moment; something was just keeping her from doing it.

“I have just been spacing out. That’s all.” He said quietly.

She moved her eyes away from his, taking in the night. It was windy, but not too hot. It did smell like weed, cigarettes, and sea. Gotta love San Francisco for its aroma. But she could also feel a tension between them as they stood outside the bar in the smoking section. They were the only ones not smoking, maybe the people around them thought the strain of Rey and Ben’s vibes.

She shrugged, “I have no idea what is going on tonight with us. I have no idea what is going on with me. I feel so confused.”

Ben touched her face as he did earlier in the evening. Bringing her face to meet up at his, looking deep into her eyes. “I have no idea either Rey… I just know I don’t want to ignore it.”

Rey was about to respond when she heard the door open behind her, moving away from Ben to see who it was. Rose was walking towards her, obviously very drunk. She reached out and grabbed Rey, “Hey you… I’ve been looking all around for you! Come on, and I want you to be -drunk with me.” She slurred.

Rey thought it might be a good idea, just to push down the thoughts and emotions she had all-around Ben. She turned to Ben again, “Let’s just ignore it right now, ‘kay?” She gave him a soft smile. Ben smiled back, “Sure. I guess for now. But let’s not ignore it forever.”

They went back inside with Rose; the tension between them is still there. But for now, Rey and Ben were going to ignore it.

~*~

Ben and Rey did ignore it for their friends. They drank and dances with everyone but never just the two of them. Ben would just stand and tap his foot, bopping to the music. Rey was swaying her hips back and forth in between Finn and Poe. Rose was dancing with a guy she had met; she was more making out with him than anything. Hux seemed to have left because he was not in sight for the rest of the night.

Rey was very drunk, and she thought Ben was too. She was trying hard not to look at him, afraid he might look at her at the same time. But she occasionally glanced over at him. He was saying a bit more, and she always saw a new drink in his hand. She kept getting them too; maybe it wasn’t the best coping skill to have. But it was working.

Near one in the morning, Finn and Poe called it a night. They gave everyone hugs, and they all agreed to get breakfast in the morning together. Rose went home with the man she was with all night. Rey and Ben said that they would walk back together.

Drunk and walking down the streets of San Francisco wasn’t always the safest thing, but Rey felt okay with Ben at her side. Her house wasn’t very far from here, either.

Ben and Rey giggled to each other, gossiping about Rose and the guy she went home with.

“She was all over him!” Rey laughed.

“I know! I can’t believe she went home with him, to be honest. Isn’t that something she said she would never do?”

“Yeah, but everyone breaks the rules now and then, am I right?” She turned to look at him, giving him a big smile. She was distracted from her walking -something hard to do when very drunk- and stumbled over a crack in the concrete. “Wow!” she yelled, losing her balance.

Ben quickly grabbed her, preventing her from falling. “Hey, be careful!” He held her close, “I am too drunk to be a doctor right now.” He let go of her, helping her get balanced before letting go of her. But he decided to be bold and grab her hand.

“You’re not drunk enough to catch me!” Rey laughed, “we are almost to my house.” She looked down at their interlocked hands as she said the words. “Will you stay with me tonight? I mean- um that um sounded wrong, um I just don’t want you to walk home alone right now.”

Ben was taken aback by what she said, not believing it. “Um, yes. I will. But on one condition.”

“What?” They were nearing her home.

“We stop ignoring it. I don’t mean we have to talk about it now. We both know we are too drunk.” He pulled his keys out of his pocket, letting go of her hand to find the house key she gave him.

“Ben…” Rey swallowed, “Yeah, tomorrow. We can talk about it tomorrow.” They walked into her house, locking the door behind them. “But now, let’s get ready for bed. I don’t feel like getting a blanket out. Will you stay in my bed with me?”

Opening her eyes wide, “I’m sorry I keep saying these things at an inappropriate him… It’s just that is what normally happens. I’m sorry. We don’t have too, I’ m--”

“Stop saying sorry, and it is okay.” Ben looked down at her, “Everything can still be normal. Just something is going on. And we will talk about it tomorrow.”

Ben and Rey went upstairs and got ready for bed. Like normal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More things to come in the next chapter... maybe something a bit spicy? We shall see!
> 
> I'd love any feedback :) I thoroughly enjoy it. Thank you so much!


	3. Tense

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two days. Rey knew it has only been two days, only two days their “feelings” have come up.  
> Rey thought that maybe it wasn’t a romantic type of feeling, it was perhaps just sexual. There has always been an underlying tension between them, that she just justified as teasing. As she was thinking about it it might have been more flirting than she’d want to believe. 
> 
> Sex. Sex with Ben? She has thought of it for a long time. His long legs, arms, and fingers. He could hold and touch her the right way, she had a feeling he’d be good at treating her the way she should be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this story has taken a different turn for me. My mind has wandered somewhere else, and I like it! I hope you like this chapter :)

Ben woke up the next day with a significant headache. He did not expect to be this hungover. The last thing that he remembers was taking a shot with Poe at the bar, and a lot of blurry images of dancing with everyone—and watching Rey. 

_Rey_

He opened his eyes quickly, the sunlight from the room hitting him. He groaned, sitting up, his head in his hands. “Fuck,” he whispered to himself. Once he dared to sit up, he noticed he was not in his room. He was in Rey’s place. Ben turned to look over his shoulder to see Rey with messy hair, tangled in her sheets. She seemed to be only in a T-shirt and panties: He was only in his T-shirt and boxers. _What the fuck?_ Why didn’t he go home? Was he that drunk? Why did he sleep in her bed, and the couch? 

Ben stood up, trying not to startle her. She groaned, causing him to pause. He didn’t want to wake her up. She was probably just as hungover as him. As quietly as he could, he headed over to her bathroom, hoping to find ibuprofen or Tylenol somewhere. Rey probably wouldn’t mind. Ben opened her cabinet immediately, finding some right next to vitamin B-Complex. He took both splashing water into his mouth to swallow. Ben looked at himself in the mirror. He was a mess, his hair was very tangled, and there were puffy circles under his eyes. He looked over at the shower, wanting so badly to be cleaned from the stench of alcohol. Rey probably wouldn’t mind. He shut the door, locking it. He was not ready for her to see him naked. _Would that happen, ever?_ He pushed that thought away, turning the water on. 

After waiting a few minutes to let it heat up, he stripped naked and got into the shower. He put his head under the spray of the showerhead, which was almost too short for him. He tilted his face back, letting the warm water wake him up a little bit. As he did this, he wanted to try and remember what happened last night. He was too old to drink the way they did last night. 

_“I just don’t want to ignore it.”_

_“Let’s just ignore it for now.”_

Yes, he does remember that. He does intact remember that last night when they walked home, and they agreed to talk about it today. And she wanted him to sleep in her bed. “What the _fuck.”_ He said out loud. She has feelings for him. He has feelings for her. Why is it all coming out right now? Did she always have these feelings, pushing them down? Just as he was? Ben had so many emotions. And questions that will hopefully be answered by her soon. Today. 

Once he was done rinsing off, he hopped out, dying off before putting back on his boxers and shirt. He snuck out of the bathroom to see Rey sitting up, looking confused.

“I forgot you slept in my bed.” She said quietly. “I see you helped yourself to the shower.” She smirked at him. 

“Yeah, is that okay?” He slipped into his pants. Watching her watch him. “Are you not hungover?”

“Oh I am, I’m just ignoring it.” She groaned out. “I don’t remember a lot from last night.”

“You said we could stop “ignoring it” today. That we could talk about _it_.” He said bluntly. 

She blinked at him, trying to gather her thoughts. “Yeah. You are right. Um... I’m going to shower. Can I meet you downstairs? Make some coffee if you want.” Ben nodded, giving her a small smile before leaving her room. 

  
  


~•~

Rey got out of her bed once Ben left the room. She quickly headed to the bathroom to start herself a shower. Her mind was racing; so many thoughts were storming. She remembered their conversation from last night. She told him to ignore it, leave it alone for now. But she invited him into her bed. It wasn’t for sex, just to be close to him that night. They have slept in the same bed before, that bed. Mostly on drunken nights, or just falling asleep watching a movie together. But last night, there was something almost less innocent. Because she knew that there was a large part of her that wanted him in that bed again, while they were sober, and she also hoped he would want to be in that bed with her as well.

“Ugh!” Rey groaned out into the echo of her shower, “What do I do?” 

  
After her shower, Rey met Ben downstairs; he handed her a cup of coffee. There was an awkward silence. No one knew how to talk first. Rey smiled at him, and he smiled back. He gave a huff and spoke first, “So um… last night. I think we agreed to talk about “what’s going on with us.” He air-quoted to add emphasis. 

She gulped on her coffee, nodding. “Yeah, we did. But I’m not sure how to start. I don’t know what to say. You said that you didn’t want to ignore our feelings. But Ben, I don’t know what our feelings are. I’m confused about why you’re talking about this suddenly!”

Ben was taken back by her volume. He looked at her with open eyes, “I don’t know. Something triggered in me yesterday. Rey. I don’t know. I just saw you in that dress… and the way you had your hair. Rey, you’re so beautiful. And I’ve known that forever. But it just sparked something that maybe I was pushing down.”

“Pushing it down?” Rey repeated him. But she was also reflecting on herself. She has also been pushing down her feelings for him. Ever since she could remember, she just felt she had to ignore the way she thought about him. Because she assumed he would never reciprocate. “What does this all mean?”

“I don’t know. I don’t. I am just confused. And wondering what’s going to happen next.” Ben picked up his coffee, avoiding eye contact with her. “What do you want to do next?”

“Well. I’m just afraid to do anything next. I don’t know what to do next. Ben, this sounds so kindergarten… but do you like me? Like in that way?”

 _What way?_ He liked her that way. If she means romantically, he loved her anyway. But he didn’t want to push it. “Yes. Do you like me?” 

She nodded. She doesn’t know what to do next. Do they date? No. They can’t. It would mess so many things up. “I don’t want to ruin our friendship, and I don’t want to mess up our friend dynamic. Everyone would be so weird.”

“What about Poe and Finn? They were friends before they started dating. We didn’t see that coming.” Ben defended. But he wasn’t sure they should date either. After a long moment of silence, Ben decided to repeat speak, “Well. I can’t ignore it, Rey. I don’t know what to do, but I know I do have feelings for you. And I have for a while now. I just can’t ignore it, and I can’t push it back.”

She stood up, walking closer to him. A slight scowl on her face as she poked him in the chest with her finder. “Ben, you shouldn’t have sprung this on me.” She jabbed him again. “I was perfectly fine with ignoring my feelings for you.” Jab. “And you screwed it’s up by telling me you were doing the same—” She was interrupted by her phone ringing. She turned her back away from Ben, to grab it. Her face beat red, out of embarrassment and frustration. 

Poe was the one calling her; she picked it up, still staring at Ben. “Hello?”

_“Hey! Still on for mimosas? Rose canceled on us. But we still really want to go. Maybe we can call Ben and ask him too.”_

“Crap. I forgot. Yeah, I’m still down to go, I will ask Ben. When and where do you want to go?”

_“Pink Elephant. And I’m not sure, maybe an hour? Poe and I will go down there first to get a table. I’m sure the wait is very long.”_

“Yes. Okay, I’ll start getting ready now. I’ll ask Ben. But I’m sure he will come.”

Ben raised an eyebrow at her, mouthing, “What?”

She shooed him with her hand and turned away from him, still talking to Poe. “Okay. Yes. We will see you there. Bye!”

Rey turned back to Ben, who was giving her a confused look. She groaned and said, “We have to go get mimosas with Poe and Finn.”

“I have to go home and change. I look awful.”

“Then go home. We can meet there.” She shrugged.

“I can come to pick you up.” He whispered, “Rey. I want to figure this out.”

“No, Ben, I need to be alone for a minute. I can walk there. I just need to think. This is all so confusing.” She looked at him, her eyes a little watery. 

Ben walked closer to her, looking down at her. He placed his hand on her cheek, small tears running down her face now. “I’m so confused, Ben.”

He wiped a tear away with his finger, “Rey, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to pop it into your head. I just realized I couldn’t hold those feelings anymore. I couldn’t ignore them. Something sprang inside of me.”

Rey closed her eyes, reaching up to cover the hand on her cheek. “You don’t understand Ben. I’ve had feelings for you ever since I’ve known you. I just assumed that you thought of me as a little sister. So I’ve shoved the feelings down as much as possible.”

Ben didn’t know what to say; they both assumed the same thing about each other. But they were both wrong. Could this have happened years ago? Or is this something that needs to happen now? 

Rey looked him in his eyes, wanting to reach out and hold him close, but couldn’t bring herself to do it. She just let him hold her face. She didn’t know why she was crying. She didn’t want to make him feel bad. She didn’t want to feel bad, either. 

Ben turned to look at the time. “Are you sure you don’t want me to pick you up? I gotta go home soon if we want to be there in an hour.”

“Yeah, you can pick me up.” She whispered. 

Ben leaned down and kissed the top of her head, pulling away from her. “Okay. I’m sorry about this. I will be back in about 35 minutes.” Without saying anything else, Ben walked away from her and out of his house. 

~•~

The ride to the Pink Elephant was quiet. They talked very little to none. It wasn’t awkward though, they both were processing what has been happening the last two days. 

_Two days_. Rey knew it has only been two days, only two days their “ _feelings”_ have come up. Rey thought that maybe it wasn’t a romantic type of feeling; it was perhaps just sexual. There has always been an underlying tension between them, that she just justified as teasing. As she was thinking about it, it might have been more flirting than she’d want to believe. 

Sex. Sex with Ben? She has thought of it for a long time. His long legs, arms, and fingers. He could hold and touch her the right way. She had a feeling he’d be good at treating her the way she should be. Maybe she could ask him about this after brunch. See if he feels the same way. If that’s what his feelings are. Perhaps he’s confusing them with love. It might just be lust. 

~•~

Ben was somehow lucky and found a parking spot Minna Street, right across the street from the restaurant. “Well, that was lucky!” Ben said, smiling at Rey. 

“Yes, it was!” Rey agreed as she got out of the car. 

Ben walked next to her, terribly wanting to hold her hand. But he kept his distance instead. She said she didn’t want their friends to know. 

_Know what?_ Ben asked himself. There was nothing established at all; all these feelings coming up fast like a bolt of lightning. He wondered why it just spilled out of his mouth yesterday. All he did was tell her she was beautiful. And she interrupted that he was coming on to her, and maybe he was. But he thought he was subtle enough. He must have crossed a line somewhere in their conversation. Was it the way he looked at her? Did it push her over the edge? He was glad they were talking about it now because he wanted to know. 

~•~

“You were drinking so much last night!” Poe boasted to both Ben and Rey, “I didn’t know you could do that, Solo.”

Ben smirked, “What? Drink? I could drink you under the table, Dameron.”

Poe rolled his eyes, “let’s go right now!”

Finn gently patted Poe on his knee, “Hey, let’s not. We agreed not to. Only have a few mimosas and leave it at that, remember?”

Poe gave him a side-eye look, but then turned to him and kissed him softly. “Yes, I remember.” Poe smiled, their eyes lingering for a moment before turning back to Rey and Ben. The love between them always subtly radiated off them. 

Ben was jealous. He has never had a passion so pure. He has never been able to stay with a girl long enough to try and have those feelings He turned to Rey, giving her a small smile that she returned. She was so beautiful, so little too.

Ben had no idea what was in store for them at all. 

They are, Poe and Rey had a mimosa each, Finn and Ben caught up on how work was going. A very reasonable friend like behavior, like nothing, was going on in Rey’s head about kissing Ben. She wasn’t thinking that at all. 

Except she was, she _was._

The ride to her house was just as quiet as the ride to the Pink Elephant. Just low music playing in the background. Ben was cruising down the hills and back up very smoothly. 

“You’re good at driving here,” Rey said into the silence of his car. “I don’t like driving here unless I have to. My jobs are very close to me, or I Uber everywhere.”

Ben smiled, “I just enjoy it. I also have to drive to the hospital. It just makes sense for me to have a car. But I’ll drive you places if you need it if I am not at work.”

“Why aren’t you at work today? The psychiatric patients don’t need to be treated today?” 

“Yes. They are all cured of their mental illness.” Ben played along, “they do not need me to help anymore.”

Rey laughed, turning to look at him. His face had little stubble, his fluffy hair. She watched him drive gracefully, up her street. She looked at his lips that were in a bit of smile. She did want to kiss him. 

“I have work off yesterday, today, and tomorrow,” Ben said, bringing her out of the trance she was in. “It’s just the days I have off right now. I somehow got Saturday, Sunday, and Monday off!” He shrugged, pulling up her house. Parking on the side in front of the small driveway. 

“Are you not coming in?” Rey whispered, “you don’t have to. If you don’t want to. You can park here. I don’t mind.”

Ben put the car in to park, locking the emergency brake. “Yes. I will come in.”

They hopped out of the car, Rey going to her door faster than him needing to be away from him. But all she wanted to be was close to him. He walked in behind her, “So I want to talk about what’s going on. I like you, Rey. I have for a long time. I’ve just been pushing it down.” He got straight to the point. “Rey, you don’t have to give me an answer right away. But I think you want to do something about _this_.” Ben gesture between them with his hands. 

Rey walked over to her living room couch, sitting down and crossing her legs. She looked up at him with confused eyes. “Me too, Ben. But I don’t want our friends to know whatever this is.” She stated again, “It would freak them out. Knowing we are… I don’t know. Having an affair.”

“An affair? We’re what? A secret. From our friends?”

“Yes. We don’t know how this will end if we _do_ anything with our feelings. I don’t think they will need to know that we’re having sex.” Rey said bluntly. Still keeping eye contact with him. 

Not missing a beat, “we are going to have Sex?”

Rey’s mouth went dry. “I-I don’t know, Ben. I assumed that’s all you wanted to do? I guess?”

Ben crossed his arms, his frame tall and hovering over her, “I mean. That is not a bad idea.”

She opened her mouth to speak, but no words came out. She was just staring at him. 

Ben continues to talk, his eyes now dilated. He didn’t speak either. The tension between them was ten times stronger than it was beforehand. 

“This all came out of nowhere. I just called you beautiful. And it exploded so many emotions. Some that I was pushing down. And I assume you have too. Ben, I don’t know what else to do besides sex. We cannot get into a relationship. Not now. I can’t.” 

“Oh, but you can get into a sexual one?” Ben questioned, “you just want me to fuck you and get over this. Just like that?”

Rey nodded, still not able to get words out. Just watching him. The fury in his eyes, or the lust. She couldn’t tell. 

“Rey do you want me to fuck you?” He said again, a little lower. “I want an answer.”

“Y-yes.” She swallowed, “Ben. Fuck me. Please.” Suddenly he was surrounding her, on his knees in front of her. Despite his intense ora that was swarming Ben, he gently took her face in his hands. Bringing their faces closer, pressing their lips together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay... I promise that there will be porn in the next chapter. And it should be fun. Ben in my story is a very sweet fluff ball, but sex might bring out a little darkness in him...
> 
> Let me know what you think about this chapter, I appreciate all the feedback and love I get :)


	4. Lust and Need

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben’s face turned pink, nodding placing her to sit on the back of the couch. Her legs still wrapped around his hips, she could feel his stiff cock rubbing against her. Rey knew she was very wet, her pussy wanting it so bad. But her head was telling her she needed to talk to him before anything goes further. “I-I’m sorry Ben, I want this, I do. But, are you ready to do this? Are you ready to change everything about us?” Rey almost whispered her sentence. “I don't even think that we can go back from this,” Ben said back. He rested his forehead on hers, whispering to her. “I want you now Rey, but I will stop if you want me to.” His hands slid under her long white skirt, up to her hips. His fingers grazed the edge of her panties. “Rey I really want to hear what you sound like when you cum.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey... I hope everyone is staying indoors and being healthy. I will have more time to write now that I am inside for the next 4 weeks... I'm not making any promises though...   
> Thank you for reading!!

“Rey do you want me to fuck you?” He said again, a little lower. “I want an answer.”

“Y-yes.” She swallowed, “Ben. Fuck me. Please.”

Suddenly he was surrounding her, on his knees in front of her. Despite his intense rage that was swarming Ben, he gently took her face in his hands. Bringing their faces closer, pressing their lips together. 

Ben’s lips were like velvet on hers, the pressure of them made her want to moan, she wanted to explore more. She wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him closer. His kiss was full of hunger, need, like he was starving. And she was the only thing he could ever taste again. 

Ben was now on his knees in front of her, his large arms curled around her waist. He never thought he would kiss Rey. Not like this. 

She knitted her hand in his hair, pulling him as close to her as he could. Her mouth pulled away from him just for a moment to the corners of his lips. Then she licked them, moaning as she did. She tugged his bottom lip between her teeth gently. 

Ben growled quietly. He buried his hand under her ass lifting her up, she squeaked. Ben picked her up into the air, her legs instantly wrapped around his hips. Never leaving his lips.

“Bed?” She mumbled on his lips, “or right here?” 

“Here.” He pulled away for a moment, to look at her face. Her cheeks flushed, her lips swollen and her hair was already a mess. “Are you sure?” He asked, “Rey this will change everything.” He still held her ass, feeling the curve of her. She had her legs wrapped around his large hips. 

Rey looked at him, knowing everything would change. Knowing that they couldn’t ever go back to “normal” after this moment that they are having regardless. “Yes. Ben. Please…” Ben’s cock was already hard, but her pleads of wanting him to fuck her made him almost melt in his jeans. He could feel the heat from her radiating onto his belly, she was so little in his arms. 

Rey moved away from his lips, down his neck moaning as she tugged his hair. She rolled her hips on him, needing more from him. Rey’s thoughts were racing in her head about what she was about to do. She was about to have Ben Inside of her. Can she do this? This will change everything forever.   
“Ben…” She said on his lips, “Ben…” she pushed on his shoulders, looking at him again. He suddenly looked alert, scanning her face for emotions, “Let’s stop, just for a second.”

Ben’s face turned pink, nodding placing her to sit on the back of the couch. Her legs still wrapped around his hips, she could feel his stiff cock rubbing against her. Rey knew she was very wet, her pussy wanting it so bad. But her head was telling her she needed to talk to him before anything goes further. 

“I-I’m sorry Ben, I want this, I do. But, are you ready to do this? Are you ready to change everything about us?” Rey almost whispered her sentence. 

“I don't even think that we can go back from this.” Ben said back. He rested his forehead on hers, whispering to her. “I want you now Rey, but I will stop if you want me to.” His hands slid under her long white skirt, up to her hips. His fingers grazed the edge of her panties. “Rey I really want to hear what you sound like when you cum.”

Rey swallowed, “I want to hear what you sound like.” She wrapped her arms tight around his neck, pulling his lips to hers again. His fingers hooking around her panties pulling them down her smooth legs. Ben dropped them, immediately going back to her hips. He reached to the small of her back, his large hand holding her in place. Ben’s other hand tickled between her thighs, feeling the heat of her pussy. 

“O-oh my god. Ben…” Rey moaned on his lips as she felt his thumb brush against her clit. “Fuck, fuck me.” She dug her nails into his back, pulling him as close to her as she could. Ben slowly slipped his finger between her inner lips, rubbing over her opening, his thumb still pushing pressure on her clit. 

“I intend to do just that, Rey.” Ben whispered in her ear, “God you are so wet. Wet just for me, right Rey?” He slipped a finger inside her. “Oh Rey, I can’t wait to be inside of you.” He kissed down her cheek, to her neck. His finger pumping in and out of her at a slow rate. “Do you want me inside of you too?” He added one more finger, speeding up, fucking into her.

“Yes, Ben… ohhh fuck!” Her nails dug deeper into his back, her hips moving at the pace he was going, meeting his every thrust. She felt like she looked like a crazy animal riding his fingers. Fuck, his fingers were so big, she couldn’t wait to fuck him. “Ben, you are going to make me cum.”

“That is what I want, I want you to cum. As soon as you do, I am going to make you cum again.” He kissed his way back to her mouth, “You’d like that, huh? My cock inside of you? Have you thought of it before?”

Rey’s eyes rolled back into her head, shocked that Ben would be like this. He was always so sweet, but he is fucking her like a maniac. Talking to her in such a dirty way. “Ben… oh my god, please don’t stop…”

“Answer my questions Rey, or I will stop.”

“F-f-fuck… Ben, yes, I do want you to be inside of me.” She rolled her hips just right to match the thrusts of his fingers. “I have thought about this before, I have thought about you fucking me.” She moaned, cumming on his fingers. Her walls squeezing around them. “I’ve fantasized about you, Ben. Have you done that with me?” Rey said into his ear, pulling on his hair and riding off her orgasm high. He left his fingers inside of her. The wetness and the heat, keeping them there, wanting so badly to be inside of her. 

Rey reached down between them, grabbing his belt. Frantically trying to unbuckle and take it off. Ben slowly pulled his fingers out of her fluttering cut, looking into her eyes as he pressed them onto her lips. She opened her mouth for him, sucking on his fingers. Tasting herself on them Rey watched him, her eyes locked on his as she reached into his jeans grabbing his cock in her hand. She could already feel how thick he was and hard he was, “fuck Ben, I answered you, answer me.” She squeezes him slightly watching his eyes close softly. He gave out a huffed moan as she slowly ran her thumb over the slit of his cock, his pre-cum leaking out. “Ben, it wouldn’t be fair if you didn’t respond to my question.” She teased him, “I just came on your fingers before I cum on your cock I want to hear you tell me the truth.” 

“Fuck, you are so dirty, Rey.” Ben moaned as she pumped his cock faster, “Yes, I have thought about you, I have thought about being inside of you so many times Rey.” He bent down to bring their lips together, kissing her hard with lust and need. He reached down between them, taking his cock out of her hand to rub it between her wet folds.Rey moaned, looking down between them to watch as he struck her, slapping her cunt with his thick cock. Before he went any further, he whispered on her lips, “I don’t have a condom on me.”

“Just fuck me.” Rey wrapped her arm around his neck anchoring him as close to her as she could, “Cum on me, I don’t care… I’m clean. I promise.”

Ben shuddered to hear her words, “Are you sure?” His cock was still just outside of her center, throbbing, wanting to be inside so bad. He was teasing her clit with the head of his cock, “Rey I am clean too, but are you sure?”

“Shut up and fuck me” Her hips bucked against him, “Do I have to say please?”

With a swift movement, he was inside of her, her warm walls pulling him in. They both moaned in pleasure, his movements fast to start, raw and hard. “Fuck, Rey, you feel so good. I never imagined your cunt would feel this good.”

Rey huffed not finding the words to say as she tried to keep up with his movements. She was holding as tight onto him as she could. Still awkwardly on the back of her couch, trying not to fall over and also trying to fuck him with the same force he was fucking her. He had one arm wrapped firmly around her waist. His other hand buried into her hair, tugging her back slightly as he kissed down her neck. 

“Rey, I have wanted to fuck you for so long. I would have done this so much sooner. I love your pretty little cunt around me.” He thrust harder into her, “I have fantasied this for years, fucking you.” Ben looked down between them to watch her swallow him in, “Rey you want me so bad, you are dripping on me.”

Rey managed to speak, “Ben you are going to make me cum if you keep talking to me like that.” She squeezed her eyes, “You feel so good.” She found a rhythm that matched hit in a way that just hit her in a way that made her toes curl, “Righ-right there Ben! Oh, fuck.” Ben kept with her, his cock throbbing, her cunt pulling him in more, more, more. He felt as if it was eating him up, starving her him to stay inside of him and stay there forever. She felt the coil in her tummy build-up, dropping her head back with a loud moan. “Be-ben, I’m cumming, fuck…” Her nails were probably ripping holes into his shirt. 

Ben did not respond, just kept moving inside of her, feeling himself about to release as well. He looked down at her with hooded eyes, watching her trying her best to hold him, her heels pushing into the back of his thighs. The way her cunt gripped around his cock was something he never wanted to end. 

The only sound in the room was slap slap slap of their bodies lustfully trying to keep up with each other, and their moans and breaths. The scent of their sex was all he could smell, making his lust for her stronger. He rested his forehead onto hers, his thrusts becoming more out of rhythm, just trying to get her to cum around him, wanting to feel her walls throb and pull him in. “Rey… I am going to cum.” He gave out a loud grunt, “I just want you to cum around me again.”

“Fuck, Ben Solo you are needy.” She laughed, but she knew she was close again, his hand fit perfectly around her hip, enough to reach his thumb to her clit. “But you get what you want.” 

“I always do…” He smiled at her, watching her cum, fucking into her until he had to stop himself from cumming inside of her. He pulled out quickly causing them both to wince and cry in pleasure. He held his cock in his hand, pumping himself until his seed violently spilled onto her thighs. Rey watched his face as he came, open mouth, sweat beading on his forehead. She did that, she made him shiver in pleasure. Rey was proud of herself. 

While keeping his eye contact, she gracefully ran a finger over her thighs, scooping some of his cum. She took her fingers and placed them in her mouth, sucking him in. 

“Fuck. You are dirty.” Ben moaned, leaning down to kiss her again. Tasting himself on her lips. 

They didn’t speak while Ben helped her onto the other side of the couch so she could sit properly. 

They didn’t speak as he fixed his jeans and she smoothed out her skirt. Her legs shaking, her pussy still was throbbing as well. She could feel the emptiness of not having him in her.

He stood behind the couch a while longer before she heard him move. She could hear him walk over to her cabinet, then to her fridge filling something with water. 

They didn’t speak as he handed her a glass of water. Sitting on the couch next to her. Their eyes did not meet, both of them still processing what had just happened. 

After what felt like an hour Ben was the first to say anything. 

“Rey, hey… I- I am sorry.” He whispered, “I got out of hand.”

“Don’t be sorry unless you feel like you have something to be sorry for.” Rey snapped at him, “We both fucked each other. Right?”

Ben was slightly taken back by her tone of voice. Maybe she did regret it, maybe it was a line they both crossed, “Rey I don’t feel sorry that we had sex. I just hope you don’t regret that. Because that was some of the best sex I have had.”

Rey turned to look at him, but before she could say anything her phone started to dingle. She closed her mouth quickly, turning to snatch her phone off of the coffee table. Ben watched her eyes grow, reading whatever was on the screen. “What? What is it?”

Rey closed her eyes, dryly swallowed and nodded. “Okay, Ben… Don’t hate me. But I have a date that will be here in like 10 minutes.”

Ben felt like he had left his own body, ran around the globe and then back. “A date?” He nervously said, “A date?” He shook his head as if to say no, “You can’t have a date after I just fucked you like that.”

Rey bit her lip and nodded, “She just told me she was on her way…” she closed her eyes tighter than before, “I forgot… Poe had set me up with one of his friends.” 

“Cancel it… Rey, Cancel it. That is not fair to either of us. We just admitted we had feelings for us, and fucked like… like animals!” He said with almost no emotion. “Fuck Rey, you can’t go on the date.”

Rey huffed, “Well it is not like I planned to fuck you. I did not plan on you telling me you like me. I never thought I could tell you how I feel. Let alone have you feel the same way as me. Ben, I don’t even know what to call what we just did. I think it was just out of passion, lust, need…” Rey looked down at her shaky legs, “Ben I do not want things to change.”

Ben stood up quickly, “Rey, how the fuck will things be the same now?”

“I-I don’t know.” She said quietly, “Please don’t yell at me.”

Ben looked away from her, feeling embarrassed for being angry. “Rey I am sorry, I just am confused.”

Rey had tears in her eyes, “I am too, Ben. How did this even happen? All we were doing was talking about how we feel.” She chocked on her words, “That sex was more than feelings… It was just needed.”

Ben’s face was like a stone wall, he let out a breath. “Maybe we needed each other. We can still have feelings for each other. Sex like that can’t make them just go away. Feelings are in this, did you want me to make love to you? I can do that too. Right now. Call off your date.”

“Ben!” Rey glared at him, “stop acting as you own me. Yes, we had sex. Yes, we have feelings for each other. Please stop.” Rey’s phone dinged in her hand again.

Rey looked at Ben, “Look. You can stay here and we can talk more when I get back. But the fact that you are acting as you own me is insane.”

Ben shook his head, “I will go home.”

Rey looked down, “Okay. When do you want to see each other again? Ben, the way you are acting is not okay. I think that we just need to think. Think about what this means…”

Ben shook his head, “Rey the way you are acting is not normal! We admitted that we have a feeling for one another--”

“-- and you just want to throw everything that is good between us because we should date now, huh? This has a lot of thought in it. Let’s just take time and talk this out when we are both ready.” Rey interrupted him. “I have a date, I am sorry but again we did not plan this.”

“Fine, fine.” Ben turned away from her, “Fine Rey. If that is the way you want it, that is the way it is going to be.” This out saying another word he walked over to her door and slammed it. 

Rey started to cry, this was not how it was supposed to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading.  
> Let me know what you think!
> 
> Again, stay safe and healthy


	5. Push it away.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey gave a small laugh, a few tears running down her cheek, “Ben. You know what’s funny. Is that you are the one person I would call when my life feels complicated. I want to tell you about my date. I want you to be the one to listen to me about my boy problems. It is supposed to be you I call, now I can’t talk to anyone about us.”  
> Ben didn’t say anything for a moment. She knew he was thinking because that's what he does. He thinks and tells her what to do. He always tells her what to do, always had since they were kids. Any boy or girl problems, any friend problems. He has an answer for everything, just maybe except for this. 
> 
> “Rey- Rey, I am sorry. I’m not sorry that we had sex, but I am sorry about what happened after. I am not behaving like a friend. Because you know what? You are the person I want to call when I am having issues too.”
> 
> “So we both don’t have an answer.” Rey huffed, “Ben what are we going to do?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this is such a short chapter. I already have a lot of ideas for the next one :) But please tell me what you think!

Rey went on her date, but could not concentrate on what she was saying or doing. It was so unfair to this date. She should have canceled it, but that would have also been unfair. Why did she agree on this anyway? 

Because she didn’t have Ben in the back of her mind when she did.

Rey looked up at her date, Kaydel. She was absolutely gorgeous, someone Rey would normally be interested in. She had a cute smile, her dirty blond hair was up in little buns on either side of her head. She was about Rey’s height, too. Rey tried to shake her thoughts away from Ben and pay attention to the women in front of her.

Kaydel took her wine to her lips, locking eyes with Rey. “So,” she said, “Are you okay? You seem very spacey… no offense.”

Rey shook her head, giving her a small smile. “Yeah, I am sorry. I-I had a fight...with my friend right before this.” Rey wasn’t really lying, she just left out the  _ ‘Who fucked me like a maniac, I can still feel him inside of me. My thighs still have his cum on them, because I didn’t have enough time to clean up. Oh, and yeah, I have no panties on.’  _ But she left that out, kind of not the thing to say on a first date.

“Oh, I am sorry to hear that.” Kaydel gave her a small smile, “I was just making sure I am not boring you… That I’m not a bad date.”

Rey shook her head no, “I’m sorry, it really was sudden and I didn’t want to cancel this date.” Rey gave out a little laugh, “I’m sorry I will put it out of my mind right now. And focus on you.” Rey reached out and touched her hand, “I’m all yours.”

  
  


—

Rey had a really good time on her date. As much as she could with Ben Solo in the back of her head. She tried to push Ben to the back of mind for as much as she could. Rey tried not to think about his hair. His eyes. His mouth.  _ Oh, that mouth…  _ His thick cock… 

She tried to block him out as much as she could.  _ God, I am the worst.  _ She thought to herself while she listened to Kaydel as she told Rey about her life. Rey was really trying to pay attention to her. She felt awful, so spacy. 

Rey let Kaydel walk her to the door, but didn’t invite her in. She still is dirty from her and Ben’s activity earlier that day. She feels dirty too. Rey did let Kaydel kiss her though. It was a nice and sweet kiss, soft. But she pulled away before it got too intense.

Rey squeezed Kaydel’s hand, “Good night. I had a good time.” she kissed her again. “text me when you are home…” Kaydel turned away from her without saying another word. 

Just like Ben did earlier today.

Rey walked into her house, locking the door behind her. She quickly turned her light on, searching in her dark house. For what? Ben?

She felt lonely. So lonely, but why? She’s used to being home alone, she is almost every night. But not when Ben was here. He is probably the only person to come here so often. 

After Finn moved out, to live with Poe, she had the place to herself. 

If anyone stayed the night they would normally sleep in her spare room. Not her bed. Only lovers… And Ben. He slept in her bed on multiple occasions, she was always so comfortable in bed with him. She liked waking up and looking at his beautiful eyes. Sometimes their legs would tangle up, or Rey would wake up pushed against him. When she had the strength she would move away from him, but she would usually stay close to him and his warmth.

He was her best friend. All she wanted to do was call him, tell him about her date. She wanted to hear his voice. 

She wanted him to be with her now, at this moment. Ben Solo was her very best friend. And she’s head over heels for him. 

Rey huffed out a quick breath, trying to force herself out of her own head. 

She pushed herself up her stairs after raiding her kitchen for water and a bottle of wine. She screwed the top off and put the bottle to her lips. This is something her therapist wouldn’t suggest but maybe she would be able to forgive her. This has been a hell of a day.  _ Hell of a couple of days.  _ Ben had really got to her head the second he told her she was beautiful. 

Why did that set her off, she’s sure he has called her that before. Maybe it was the way their eyes connected and stayed on each other at that moment. Maybe it was the whole rest of the night, Ben’s eyes tracking her every movement. She couldn’t believe that all happened last night and today…

Rey huffed and threw herself onto her bed, taking another swig of wine. She was tired and felt dirty but did not have it in her to take a shower quite yet… she wanted to drink a little more. Loosen herself up, take away some of the stress.

She reaches into her jacket pocket to pull out her phone and turn it off. She didn’t want any distractions on her date. At least not physical distractions, nothing tempting her to look at her phone every two minutes to see if Ben had texted her.

After her phone took a few minutes to turn on and reconnect with the world it buzzed with 4 text messages and notification of two missed calls. She read her texts first. 

_ (3:00pm)  _ **Poe:** hey friend :) Tell me about your date!

(5:00pm)  **Poe:** hi are you alive?

Rey looked up at her phone and it was only 5:30, her very early dinner date with Kaydel was longer than she was expecting it to be. She rolled her eyes, sending him a quick text back.

(5:32 pm)  **Rey:** Hi mom :P Yes my date went well, yes I am alive. Just got home, the date went longer than expected. 

Rey quickly swiped back to look at her texts. One from Rose and Poe in her group chat with her friends. The one  _ without Hux _ . 

(4:55 pm)  **Poe:** Hey I know we went out last night, but would anyone want to come over and play games… I know Rey has a date, and maybe she might get lucky. SO I won’t be mad if you don’t come over Rey ;)

_ “Fuck”  _ Rey whispered to herself. “Goddamn Poe. Why can’t you keep that to yourself… Fuck… if Ben sees that. Ugh!” She felt anxious, Ben can’t think she slept with someone else… Well, maybe it won’t matter. And they really can just forget today and act like normal. 

(4:57 pm)  **Rose:** REY HAS A DATE?????!!!!!!!!!!! Wut, why don’t I know about this.

Rey decided not to answer. She knows she won’t hear the end of it the next time they hang out. 

Instead, she checked her voicemail. One from Han, probably just to check in about a car, so she decided not to check that one first, because she had a voicemail from Ben.

Fuck. She pressed play and put it on speaker, taking another big swig of her wine. 

_ UH… hi. I am calling to tell you that I will do whatever you want. Want things to stay normal and not ever have sex again. Or Want things to be normal and continue to have sex...Fuck. _

He sounded drunk… dealing with it the same way she was. Badly. 

_ Uhhh anyway. Call me back. Text me. If you do have sex with that girl. I won’t be mad. Or jealous. NOpe. Buh bye... _

Rey closed her eyes. Trying to push back all of her emotions about Ben. All she has done today is  _ push  _ Ben to the back of her head. That’s all she has been doing today, putting all her effort to make her thoughts of Ben go away, and it distracted her from her date. Distracted her from actually being able to talk, or listen. 

She hates this. 

Rey opened up Ben’s contact, staring at the picture she had for him, it was of the both of them at the beach. Rose had taken it from them one day at Crissy Fields. Rey had been leaned against his shoulder sitting next to each other, they were arguing about something, she forgot. But when Rose called their attention they both quickly looked at her and smiled. Ben’s smile was small while hers was nice and big. They looked comfortable, and they were. Ben and Rey have always been close, close enough to touch, lean on and now have sex. 

Rey shook her head, her thumb hovering over the call button, her phone dinged. 

_ Kaydel _

(5:43 pm)  **Kaydel:** Hey I am home :) Thanks for the date… I hope you and your friend can work it out. Call me sometime.

Rey sighed loudly into her room bending her arm down and over her eyes, bringing the wine bottle to her lips. “Fuck me.” She brought her phone back in front of her face, hitting the call button to Ben’s contact. After one ring he picked up. 

_ “Rey.”  _ He breathed,  _ “H-hi.” _

After a moment Rey responded, “Hi. Ben, are you drunk?”

_ “Umm, yes. I am. I am being irresponsible.”  _ Ben laughed to himself, maybe to her.  _ “But, um, I want to apologize. About today. About how I acted. I know I don’t  _ own  _ you. I know that. I think I just got really jealous…” _

“Yeah, I am sorry too.” Rey curled her toes, cracking them. Letting the silence between them hang over the phone line for a moment. “I am drinking, too. So you're not the only irresponsible one.”

_ “Oh, your date didn’t go well?”  _ He almost sounded hopeful to her. He probably was. 

“Well, no it went fine.” She heard him quietly say,  _ “oh.” _ But she didn’t want to dwell on that. “It was fine. She is nice, cute. I was distracted most of the time though.”

_ “Oh, um. I am sorry to hear that. I’m glad you had a good time.”  _ Ben quickly responded,  _ “Listen, Rey, um I um mis-”  _ Before he could finish his sentence he stopped talking, hearing a small sniff from Rey,  _ “hey… Rey, I am so sorry. I’m sorry for everything. I just, I just don’t know what to do.” _

Rey gave a small laugh, a few tears running down her cheek, “Ben. You know what’s funny. Is that you are the one person I would call when my life feels complicated. I want to tell you about my date. I want you to be the one to listen to me about my  _ boy problems. _ It is supposed to be you I call, now I can’t talk to anyone about us.”

Ben didn’t say anything for a moment. She knew he was thinking because that's what he does. He thinks and tells her what to do. He always tells her what to do, always had since they were kids. Any boy or girl problems, any friend problems. He has an answer for everything, just maybe except for this. 

_ “Rey- Rey, I am sorry. I’m not sorry that we had sex, but I am sorry about what happened after. I am not behaving like a friend. Because you know what? You are the person I want to call when I am having issues too.” _

“So we both don’t have an answer.” Rey huffed, “Ben what are we going to do?”

_ “I think we have to be each other's friend. Support each other, and that might mean we have to push our feelings aside. Because it’s clear you are confused, and so am I. I want you to be able to call me, I want you to be able to listen to you if you talk about your relationship issues. But I also want to fuck you, again. But I can’t do that, can I?” _

Rey was silent for a moment, “Maybe we just need some time to think.”

_ “How much time?” _

“I- I don’t know. Until we can, until one of us reaches out first.” Rey sniffed, more tears streamed down her face. “Ben, I think we need time to get  _ over  _ each other.”

_ “I don’t think I can get over you, Rey. Not ever.” _

“I don’t think I can either. But we will have to try… Goodnight Ben.” Rey brought the bottle to her lips again.

  
  


_ “Yeah, goodnight Rey--”  _ Before he could say anything, Rey interrupted him. 

“Um, Ben. I didn’t sleep with her. She walked me to the door and I kissed her, but I didn’t invite her in. I just wanted you to know that. That you were on my mind all night. I couldn’t have fucked her, not after the way I fucked you… I couldn’t do it. I’d just wish it was you.”

  
  


He took a moment to respond, trying to wrap his head around that statement. But all he said was,  _ “I'll hopefully talk to you soon.” _ He hung up, leaving Rey crying into the receiver, alone. 

It took Rey a while, but once she felt like she could stop crying he sent Kaydel a text.

  
  


(6:34 pm)  **Rey:** hey, I also had a good time. I just talked to my friend, we are taking a break from our friendship. So I hope next time we go out, I won’t be too bad. :)

It seemed like seconds when Rey got the text back. 

(6:38 pm)  **Kaydel:** I’m glad we will have another date. I’m sorry to hear about your friend. 

Rey knew it was wrong of her to use Kaydel. Because she knew that is what she was going to do, use her. Use that poor girl to help her forget about Ben. But Rey was not feeling like a good person right now, so why not make it worse and fuck with someone else’s feelings. 

(6:47 pm)  **Rey:** Yeah, let’s plan something soon. Friday?

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, I'm sorry it is so short. But tell me how you like it!
> 
> Also don't yell at me about Kaydel... I am sorry, I just needed it to happen for the plot. And I'm not even sure if it is an actual ship... 
> 
> Tell me what you think please :) How you think this story will go..
> 
> Nice and dirty smut coming at you next chapter!


	6. Need and Lust

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Ben,” Rey continued, “Ben I called you today because while I came today, I thought of you.” Rey sat up onto the couch onto her knees, her movement catching his attention, forcing him to look at her as she spoke to him. “All I have done is think of you, Ben. I think of your arms, and you holding me close in my bed. I think about your lips. I think about your hands, fingers, legs. I think about everything.” Rey crawled closer to him on her knees as she continued to talk, “Ben I think about you every night, imagining you in my bed. My toys aren’t as good as you.”
> 
> “Rey-” Ben started to speak, but she talked over him, needing him to listen to her, listen to the speech she had going on. 
> 
> “I need you to be quiet now. I need you to listen to me because I have to be heard. Ben, I am so confused on what to do. I want you, and I need you in my life. But you are the only family I have. You, Luke, your mom, and dad are the only people in my life who I have. I can’t lose that because of this. I know that is selfish of me, but please let me be selfish. I don’t know what to do, Ben, but I know I need you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyy~ and happy 4/20 :)  
> This chapter is kind of long, but oh well.  
> Here is some emotional and dirty sex <3

Not seeing Rey for almost two weeks was hard for Ben, barely talking to her was harder. She would send him texts here and there, mostly in their group chats. But even her contact popping up on his phone made his heart flutter. 

The last time he heard her voice was the Sunday night of Rey’s date with this mysterious girl that she may or may not be seeing.

The last time he heard her voice in person was before her date, right after they had sex. Their sex is all Ben sees when he closes his eyes, all he thinks about when her name pops up on his phone screen. It was very frustrating, especially when he is at work. So now, when he is at work, Ben gives his phone to a nurse every morning, just keeping his work phone on him. 

It is sad, but because of this, he has bad days at work that make him happy, almost desperate to get his phone back at the end of the day, just to see if Rey has texted him or called. Most nights, she hasn’t, but he always hopes. 

And today his hope had come true when he turned his phone back on while he was walking to his car he instantly got a notification from Rey, multiple notifications. He quickly got into his car, so no one else can see the mental breakdown this is causing him. Over a text, he hasn’t even opened yet. 

(3:45 pm) **Rey** : hey, Ben. Call me

(3:57 pm) **Rey** : please? 

Ben looked at the time, and it was almost 6 pm. 

“Fuck.” Ben didn’t let himself think too much before hitting the little blue phone icon under her contact photo. Rey answered after the second ring. 

“ _Ben, hi._ ”

“Rey, hi.” He took a breath in, “Sorry, I just got out of work. I had my phone off. Everything okay?”

“ _Yeah! Everything is fine.”_

Ben waited a moment before speaking, “you asked me to call you. Is everything okay?”

“ _Yeah. I just miss you.”_

Her words hit him straight to the gut - butterflies- and his throat. Like it’s closed. She misses him. 

“I miss you, Rey. A lot.”

“ _Good_.” He could hear her give a little laugh, _“I’m glad_.”

Ben smirked, his gut twisting more, “I’m glad you miss me.”

_“I can’t remember a time we have gone this long without talking, Ben. I hate it.”_

“I can’t remember either. I hate it too, Rey. Can we talk again?”

“ _Yes. Please… can you come over?” Rey cleared her throat, “to talk. To catch up.”_

“About your girlfriend?” Ben teased, trying to keep the mood light and friendly, but also not awkward. 

“ _She’s not my girlfriend… we are just hanging out. Not even that often, Rose and Poe are making it seem like we are quote on quote dating. Like officially. And we aren’t, I think I have only seen her like five times since our first date…”_

Ben could hear the frustration in her voice as she spoke like she was defending herself to him. Because he cares, and she knows he cares about if she is dating this girl or not. 

“That’s more than you have seen me.” 

_“Uhh- um, yeah. Come over, please? It’s not that late; I can order some food… Or not. But I miss you… I have weed…”_

Ben laughed, “Well if you put it that way, I can come over… But Rey, I don’t know if I can stay very long. I do work tomorrow morning.”

“ _Yeah, I remember your schedule, I just want to see you. I don’t care for how long I want to hug you.”_

Ben couldn’t help but think that all he wanted to do was kiss her. “Sounds like you are begging for me to come over,” he said in a low voice, “You want me.”

“ _I do want you._ ”

Ben couldn’t help but think that her want was physical, like his. He might beg for her once he gets to her home, ask for her to let him make her cum again. Beg for the feeling of her tight cunt squeezing around his cock. Beg for the taste of her on his lips.

“I will head over now, order some sushi. I will be there in about 20ish minutes. Might drop my car off at home.”

“ _Okay._ ” Rey hung up the phone without another word. 

* * *

  
Rey had no idea what she was doing when she called Ben. 

She should be the one giving him some time, give herself some time. But every day going to work with Han and not talking about Ben with him is hard. Han was clueless to her and Ben’s current relationship state - and that was a good thing, she thought. She couldn’t leave Han feeling she is with his son, because that would confuse him. The Skywalker/Solo/Organa family is her family. They are all she has, and if things with Ben get worse, she is afraid of losing them forever.

Rey has a gut full of guilt, and not just about Ben and his family, but about Kaydel. 

Kaydel is sweet, kind, sexy, and refreshing. Rey was using her to forget about Ben, but it didn’t work today. Because today they had sex. It was good, hot sex, the kind that she would dream about if she wasn’t already dreaming about sex with Ben. Kaydel didn’t notice-- Rey hoped, But she also lied to Kaydel to get her not to stay over. Making Rey feel even more selfish. 

Because as soon as Kaydel left her house, Rey picked up her phone and texted Ben. He didn’t respond at first, but she was okay with that. Keeping her phone at her side for the rest of the evening, and right when she was about to give up hope, Ben called her back.

Him coming over wasn’t the best of ideas; she can admit that she did miss him a lot. She is craving him, not just his touch but his energy, smile, and voice. Hearing him on the receiver was like music to her ears. It was sincere, kind, and also shakey like he was nervous. She wouldn’t doubt if he wasn’t, because she was. Rey was so shy.

After their phone call, she opened up Doordash and ordered some different rolls, mostly vegetarian, because her brain couldn’t work enough to remember what kind of sushi Ben even liked. All of her brain function stopped working. She could only think of Ben, Ben being here again in her house.

She talked about him briefly with Kaydel today. After she had pointed to a photo of Ben and Rey with Luke, on Rey’s 16th birthday. Ben had to have been 22 years old in that photo, and probably was about the time Rey had started to fantasize about him.

“ _Who’s that?” Kaydel asked, “in this photo.”_

_“Oh.” Rey said a little sad, “That is Ben and Luke. Luke was my father-figure growing up. I lived with him for a bit. He even stayed with me in London during the school year, so I could stay with my friends after my parents died. He died last year, heart attack.”_

_“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that…” She touched Rey’s arm lightly. “That is a lot.”_

_Rey smiled sadly, “Yeah, but it is okay. I am doing better. But the other man, he is Luke’s nephew. I work with his dad, Han.”_

“ _Oh! That’s neat. You two must be close then.”_

_“Yeah, he’s my best friend. He lives in the city too, and he’s a doctor. One of the best! He- he is charming. Ben is his name, Ben Solo.”_

_“Solo is a pretty cool name! Maybe I can meet him if he is your best friend.” Kaydel smiled, moved past the photo, and on to the next asking Rey all of the stories locked within them. As happy as it made Rey talk about, she realized how much she truly missed Ben Solo._

Rey pulled herself out of her thoughts to tidy up her house. It wasn’t necessarily messy, but she was nervous. This is what she did when she was nervous. Lighting candles, fluffing up pillows, making sure everything looked good. But why?

Rey knew, deep down, that Ben coming over tonight was not a good idea. But Rey also knew that delaying seeing him any longer will make her feel worse, worse than the feeling she has of craving him, needing Ben, anyway she can get him. 

He said he couldn’t stay long, and that was good for both of them. It was just going to be a nice dinner, no sex.

“No, no sex Rey.” She said to herself, “Just dinner, and a conversation, maybe wine?” She shook her head, “No… wine was not a good idea. I can’t be distracted from dinner.” Rey closed her eyes and sighed, “Fuck me, what have I gotten into?”

Her doorbell rang, making her freeze in place. It was Ben, and there was no way their food would be here by now. Not in San Francisco, she’s never had a delivery on time, let alone early. This was Ben. He was outside of her house.

Rey pulled herself together, quickly going to the door, opening it fast but not too fast, just enough to scream, “Hey, I am nervous!” 

Her eyes met his dark eyes instantly. She had a rush of emotions hit her all at once, but she couldn’t help to put a huge goofy smile on her face as she watched him do the same. She studied his face like it was the first time she was seeing him. His hair was messy and seemed longer even. Her eyes flicked down to his lips, watching him lick them. 

Rey looked back to meet his eyes, “Hey, Ben. Thank you for coming over…” She moved to the side to let him into her house; he was still in his doctor’s coat and tie. “Had enough time to drop your car off but not your coat?” Rey joked with him as he slid past her. 

“I ran here, and I wasn’t going to waste my time going into my home to change for you.” He joked back with her and turned on his heel to look at her face. Ben took a deep breath as if he ran over here.

“Did you run?” She smiled, closing the door. “You miss me that much?”

“Rey, I- I miss you a lot.” He took in a deep breath. Ben smiled at her placing his hands on his hip, pushing out his chest. “And I’m excited about food.”

Rey laughed, walking past him to her kitchen table, taking a seat on top of it. “You liar, you don’t care about food.” Ben laughed at her, making her smile even more. “But how are you, Ben? How have you been?” 

Ben turned towards her, leaning back against the wall, “I have… I haven’t been the best if I am going to be honest. Work has been slow, and I haven’t seen another human being besides co-workers and patients. My dad has been calling me, telling me to call you. You told him we’re not talking?”

Rey arched her eyebrow, “Huh? No, I did not. Han hasn’t said anything to me about anything. How would he know that?”

Ben smirked, “I’m not sure, I have not asked him about his suspicions. He said you were acting strange whenever you said my name. Maybe that…”

She shook her head, “Well, I wasn’t doing that on purpose. Or maybe I was just so focused on cars and stuff.

“Cars and stuff.” He mocked her, “So when will our food get here?”

* * *

  
They used small chat while eating their sushi. Talking about Poe, Rose, and Finn. His job, all of hers. Even the construction will forever be going on Van Ness Ave. They both knew what they were ignoring, what they have both been pushing down for these two weeks. Both were trying to keep their minds away from the lust that was going on in them. 

Once they finished their food, Rey offered to sit and chat in the living room before Ben went home. “I want to get as much time from you as I can.” She said to him, her face turning pink as the words came out of her mouth. 

But once they were both on the couch, both of their faces got red. Images of him inside of her came rushing back to Rey, his fingers tugged her hair back, the sound of their bodies slapping in her ears. And by the look on Ben’s face, he was feeling the same way. He was lusting for her, just like Rey is for him.

Ben looked at her lips, then back to her eyes. Rey searched his face, trying to gather some emotions. His eyes were dark and fixed on her; his lip was in a line, almost smug. He opened his mouth, her eyes watching his lips move. 

“So, tell me about your girlfriend, Kaydel, is it?” His voice was deep; his jaw was a little clenched too. 

Rey rolled her eyes, “She is not my girlfriend. But yes, that is her name. And I-I’m just dating her, nothing official. Just dates. You know, movies, brunch, and tv. Nothing serious.”

“So you are sleeping with her? And that’s it. No emotional attachment whatsoever?”

“Um, well. It’s not that either. We are like friends. I’m making out with a friend, is that so bad?” Rey didn’t realize the irony that was. Because that probably wasn’t the right thing to say to Ben.

“Oh, your friend? Should I be jealous that you’ve been sleeping with a different “friend” than me?” Ben teased her, Rey knew what he was trying to push. Rey wanted to jump his bones right now, she wanted to feel him inside of her again, and he knows that because that’s what he wants at this moment too.

“I have only slept with her once. Today.” Rey shot at him, watching his small smile disappear from his face. 

“Oh.” Ben’s eyes flicked down away from hers, past her. “So, why did you call me? Rey, why did you call me over here? To show me that you don’t need me. You don’t want me?”

“Ben.” Rey whispered, “I want you so bad. That’s why I have been with her and why I slept with her today. I want to forget about you. I am using her, and I do know that isn’t fair. So I feel bad about that, but I can’t stop. Because I want you, I want you so bad. And I can’t have you, and I can’t damage everything that we have. You are my family, Ben. You are my only family. And I want you.” Rey’s eyes started to water as she searched his face for a response to her words. She knew her voice got shaky and almost yelling. 

“Ben,” Rey continued, “Ben I called you today because while I came today, I thought of you.” Rey sat up onto the couch onto her knees, her movement catching his attention, forcing him to look at her as she spoke to him. “All I have done is think of you, Ben. I think of your arms, and you holding me close in my bed. I think about your lips. I think about your hands, fingers, legs. I think about everything.” Rey crawled closer to him on her knees as she continued to talk, “Ben I think about you every night, imagining you in my bed. My toys aren’t as good as you.”

“Rey-” Ben started to speak, but she talked over him, needing him to listen to her, listen to the speech she had going on. 

“I need you to be quiet now. I need you to listen to me because I have to be heard. Ben, I am so confused on what to do. I want you, and I need you in my life. But you are the only family I have. You, Luke, your mom, and dad are the only people in my life who I have. I can’t lose that because of this. I know that is selfish of me, but please let me be selfish. I don’t know what to do, Ben, but I know I need you.”

Ben’s eyes now were looking up to Rey as she was now almost crawling into his lap, looking down, eyes meeting. “Rey, if you want me, how come you only see this ending badly?”

“Because!” She snapped, “Because everyone leaves me. No one stays.” She had tears running down her cheeks now. “My grandfather hasn’t bothered to talk to me in 4 months other than his assistant texting me that he says hello. My parents left me. They left me. Luke left me.”

“Rey, they didn’t leave you. They died. There is a difference.”

“Ben. I can’t commit to you. As much as I want you, I don’t want you to leave me either.” Rey reached up to touch his face, noticing that he had a single tear running down his face. “Ben I know this is a lot to ask, after all this talk. But Ben, please hold me right now. Hold me and let me make you feel good.”

Ben didn’t say another word to her. But he took her around the waist to pull her onto his lap. His thumbs softly stroking her hip bones. Ben looked at her face, hesitating for a moment before kissing her. She moaned on to his lips, her arms wrapping around his neck, her right hand twisting into his black locks of hair. 

Ben inched her shirt slowly up and over her head, interrupting their locked lips for only a moment. Ben’s hands cupped her bare tits into his hand, making Rey shiver. She moved her arms from around his neck, slowly dragging both her hands to his tie, trying her best to take it off. Once she got it off, her eager fingers went to the buttons on his shirt, not at all taking her time to pull it off of him. 

“Ben,” Rey moaned on his lips, her hands on his chest, feeling his hard muscles, loving the sound of his soft moans as she pinched his nipple. “Ben, let me make you feel good, please.” Rey moved her hips over his, his hardening cock under her. “Please, make me feel good. I just want to feel good with you. Please,” She begged, “Please let me make you feel good. Because that’s all, I have thought about since you fucked me.”

Ben ran his fingers down her back, digging his nails into her. He kissed her like he was thirsty and hasn’t had a drink of water in 10 years. He needed her just as much as she needed him. He was going to make her feel good. He knew he was going to. 

“Can we go to your bed this time, please? I want to fuck you properly.” Ben groaned on her lips, lifting her as he stood, not even bothering for her answer. 

“Guest room. It’s down here,” Her legs wrapping around him as he cupped her ass, holding her up as he walked down her hall, turning to hit the door open to her guest room. Ben walked her into the room, over to the bed letting go of her ass to watch her fall on to it. He looked at her with so much lust, his fingers hooking into the waistband of her shorts and panties. 

Rey was naked in front of him, for the first time. She watched his eyes dot around her body, taking her in. “It’s your turn.” Rey smiled, tugging on his belt. 

Ben laughed, unbuckling it to slide down his pants, she watched as his cock sprung free. Rey smiled up to meet his eyes. “We are naked,” She giggled, “I see you. You are beautiful, Ben.” Rey reached up to touch his left peck, “Ben, you are so beautiful.”

“Rey.” Ben whispered, looking down at her hand. Watching it inch lower and lower until she had his cock in her hand. Rey looked up at him with big eyes, red from crying. He hissed as she started to pump her fist around him. “Rey,” He moaned again, “I thought about this, too. Since we had sex, it is the only thing that has been on my mind. I thought about you, let me fuck you.”

“Me too.” Rey whispered, “I fucked myself last night, thinking of your cock. And that’s why I want to make you feel good,” Her thumb traced over the slit of his cock, taking his precum. “How do you want me to make you feel good, Ben?”

Ben closed his eyes; the image of her fucking herself was all he could see behind his eyes. He continued to moan as she pumped her fist around him. He heard her repeat her question, asking him what he wants her to do to him. 

Ben didn’t respond to her with words, pushing her down onto the bed, bringing himself to hover over. His lips on her neck, peppering her with kisses down to her breasts, kissing each nipple before taking one into his mouth. She hitched her breath as she whispered his name. 

Many thoughts and images were racing around her head as she felt his hands spreading her legs apart, his cock resting on her pubic bone. She could feel the heat of his cock on her clit. It was heavy as he started to grind his hips down onto hers, “God, I can feel how wet you are already.” Ben whispered into her chest, “You do want me.”

Rey gave a silent laugh, her chest shaking up and down with her, “I do want you.”

“Let me eat you. Let me eat you first. Would you like me between your legs? Taking your pretty cunt into my mouth?” Ben growled on her skin, “I want to taste you. I want to make you cum.”

“I want to make you feel good,” Rey whined, “I want to make you cum.”

“Oh Rey, I’m sure you will.” Ben quickly scooted down to the edge of the bed, “Please? I want to eat you.” His fingers reached her cunt, watching her eyes roll back as he did. “I will fuck you after you cum.”

Rey nodded, and in seconds Ben had her legs hooked onto his shoulders and her clit on his tongue. She felt his fingers tease her inner lips, watched his eyes meet up to hers. Ben’s pupils dilated, making his eyes darker than usual. “Mmm, your cunt is perfect, Rey. You smell so good, taste so good.” He dipped a fingertip into her wet folds. Ben wrapped his mouth around her clit again, jetting his tongue to move over it quickly. 

Rey weaved her fingers into his hair, pulling him into her as she arched her back and felt her pussy open up to him as he pushed another finger into her, the feeling of him inside of her making her gut flutter. Sex with him is all Rey has thought about since the last time he was inside of her. She wasn’t lying when she told him about thinking of him while fucking herself; she wishes it was his fingers inside of her instead of hers. And now that it is happening is all so overwhelming to her that she comes in minutes. 

“Ben!” Rey groaned, her fingers pulling his hair harder as he fucked her with his tongue. He took in as much as he could, letting her ride out her orgasm. He took, and took, making her cum a second time on his hand. His mouth was now biting into her thigh, looking up to watch her face. 

“Rey,” Ben whispered, pulling away from her cunt to hover over her again. She hurried back onto the bed, so her head rested on the pillow. He reached up to touch her lips with his fingers that are sticky with her wetness. She took them into her mouth, sucking herself off of him. 

“You know how sexy you are, Rey?” Ben moaned, watching her suck on his fingers. “Do you know how sexy you are?” 

Rey didn’t say anything, just kept looking up at him. His mouth parted, his eyes wide. She watched him breathe slowly. 

“Rey, I’m going to fuck you now.” Ben sat up onto his knees, “Is that okay?” He took his fingers out of her mouth, reached down to grab his cock. He ran his head over her folds slowly, “You are so wet, so ready for me, aren’t you Rey?”

Rey hitched her breath as she felt the head of his cock push into her, she opened her mouth and arched her back. Ben slowly fed her pussy more of him, his hips sinking closer to hers. 

“Fuck you are so tight around me,” Ben closed his eyes, “I’m going to stuff you full of me. Is that what you want? You want your pretty cunt to be full of me.”

“Ben, yes... I need you.”

“Yes. You do.” Ben started to move his hips now, he started slowly and soft, just for her to get used to him. “I want you to tell me how you fucked yourself.”

“Mmm,” Rey purred, closing her eyes with a smirk on her face. “You want to know how I fucked myself when I thought of you?”

“Yes.” Ben huffed out, as he gained more speed, wrapping his hands on each of her hips to pull her up at a slight angle. His balls were slapping on her ass as he pumped faster into her. Rey reached up above her head to wrap her hands around the metal bars of the bed’s headboard. 

“I-I used my fingers, imagining them to be yours.” Rey sighed, “But it wasn’t the same. My hand is too small.” She laughed at herself, taking a breath in, feeling his thumb rubbing her clit, his hand big enough to still hold on to her hip. “So I used a toy. I stuffed myself with toys, trying to give myself an orgasm. I fucked myself four times the other night. I screamed your name.” Rey moaned, arching her back. 

“Fuck, you are dirty.” Ben dropped his head back, looking up to her ceiling. “You have me now, are you going to scream my name?” His thrusts harder than before, her pussy clenching around him, bringing him in and in and in. 

“You make me dirty, Ben.” Rey smiled, her knucks started to turn white from how tight she had her hands wrapped around the metal bars. “Ben! Ohfuckohhh, right there.” 

Rey tried to move her hips to meet his, but his strong hands kept her in place as he fucked into her. “Ben, fuck I’m going to cum soon.”

“Me too,” Ben looked down to meet her eyes, “I’m going to paint you with my cum again, I’m going to get you sticky. And I don’t want you to wash it off until tomorrow. Can you keep my cum on you, please?”

Rey rolled her eyes back into her head, her body freezing upon him as she came, her mouth opened wide, but no sound came out. She felt cunt convulse around his cock, pulsating around him. 

“Ben!” She moaned loudly, feeling him pull out of her. She was still riding on her orgasm as she watched his cock spill ropes of him all over her belly and chest, some hitting her face. 

When Ben finished, he rolled over to lay next to her. Both their chests heaving up and down, their breath was the only think Rey could hear. 

After a few moments, Rey gathered her thoughts, reaching down to grab his hand. “Thank you, Ben.” She said, still looking up, “Thank you for letting me make you feel good.”

Ben laughed, “Thank you for letting me make you feel good.”

Rey let the air settle a lit bit longer before she spoke again, “We are good at that.” She took a deep breath in, “We are really good at fucking.”

“Does that mean we can do it again?” Ben teased her, squeezing her palm. “Not right now, but that we can do it again? And again, and again and a-”

“And again.” Rey whispered, “Do you still have to go?”

“Not if you don’t want me too. I just have to leave early.” Ben pulled her close to him, “I can stay and sleep until morning.”

“Deal.” Rey giggled, “Wake me up before you go. Like, an hour before you go.”

“Why?” Ben laughed back, “So you can make me breakfast?”

“No.” Rey said flatly, “So I can suck your cock. Give you something to think about while you’re at work tomorrow.”

“You are crazy.” Ben laughed, running his thumb over her hand. 

“You like it.” Rey smiled. Hoping he really will wake her up in the morning, because she will make it a promise to suck him off if he did. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sadly this is not going to fix everything.
> 
> Rey is confused, while Ben knows he wants her. 
> 
> Let me know what you think :) And thank you for support.


	7. Body Electric

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben has a bit of a surprise when he meets Kaydel. 
> 
> Well, he already knew her. Just didn't know she was the one dating Rey.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for feedback and Kudos :) It makes me happy, and push to write more! This quarantine has me very sad. But I'm sure I'm not alone either, so I hope you enjoy this chapter!

Ben woke up the next morning to the sound of his phone’s alarm and quickly silenced it, not wanting to wake Rey up. Ben sat up in the bed, taking in a deep breath in as he stretched his arms up and over his head and pulled the tangled sheets away from him to stand up, but before he could, he felt Rey’s small hand on his rib cage. He turned to look down at her.

Rey curled up next to him, the sheets draping over her naked body with only her left leg sticking out and hanging over the bed. His eyes met her sleepy ones, watching as she took a silent yawn. 

“Go back to sleep, and it’s 4 am Rey.” He whispered to her, reaching down to hold her face in his hand. “I have to go and get ready for work; I have to go home, shower, and change. I can’t be a whore and go to work in the same clothes as yesterday.” Ben joked. 

Rey rolled her eyes, “You wear the same thing to work every day anyway, Ben. Why would it matter?” Her voice was hushed and groggy.

“Because I don’t want to feel dirty today.” Ben smiled at her, “You should sleep. Do you work today? With my dad, right?”

“Yes, I will tell him you said hi.” She teased, “No, but I will mention that you called me, so he can stop worrying about us. Just to clear the air.”

Ben smiled as he laid back down on the bed to spin his body to look at her. He raised his hand to hold her cheek, rubbing his thumb softly. Rey opened her mouth but quickly closed, sighing instead. 

“What?” Ben smiled, looking at her, “I know you. Tell me.”

Rey closed her eyes tight, “It’s nothing, not really.”

“Lair,” He smiled and pinched her cheek in a teasing matter. “Tell me.”

Rey sighed, “I just don’t want you to leave.”

Ben laughed, “I can come back tonight.” He wiggled his eyebrows as he watched her smile, “If you want.”

Rey shook her head, “Poe and Finn are coming over tonight. Just to hang out, but you can come and drink and play games with us. If you want, they won’t mind at all.”

Ben smiled, “Yeah, I can do that. Can I stay the night again?” He knew that this is not what she wanted, and he knew that this  _ is _ what she wanted. He has her right now, and he doesn’t want to let her go, he can’t let her go. Because right now, he had her under his spell. And he honestly did not want to undo that spell. “I can behave myself, I swear.”

Rey sat up to sit upright, looking down at him. The sheet fell to her waist, exposing her bare chest to him. Ben felt her hand in his hair, massaging his scalp lightly.

“Keep doing that, and I’ll never leave.” Ben joked, moving, so his head was in her lap. He wrapped his hand around her right hip as if to pull her closer. 

“Well, I don’t want you to leave.” Rey laughed, placing her other hand on the back of his neck, “I’m scared that once you leave, all of this will go away.”

Ben hums, thinking carefully about how to answer her. “I feel the same way. I’m scared.”

“Me too.”

Ben wants to grab her and shake her, tell her that this will work out. Tell her that they will be able to make it, they could fight for it to work. But he stays quiet, letting the silence around them, listening to her breath. He closed his eyes, making himself calm under the feeling of her fingers in his hair, but then he hears her say, “Kiss me until you have to leave.” 

Ben sat up again, looking into her eyes as he wrapped his hand around the back of her neck, pulling her to him and kissed her open mouth. She moaned under his touch, his tongue dancing onto hers. Ben gave a small grunt feeling her push at his chest to move him onto his back, moving with him, so she was straddling his belly. 

Their lips moved together in such a way that made Ben feel high. He wrapped his hand in her hair, enjoying the little gasp she makes on his lips when he tugs her head back. She’s kissing him harder, needier; he felt her teeth bite into his bottom lip. Her nails dig into his chest as she slowly rocked her hips on him. 

“Fuck, Rey.” Ben huffs out, “You are going to get me hard. I can feel how wet you are.” 

“Mmm,” Rey kissed down his neck, “I want to think of me today.” She whispered, “I want you to think of me, so when you see me, all of this will come back.”

Ben gripped her hips, “If you don’t stop, I will be late for work. I have to be there in two and a half hours. I want to take my time with you.”

“What about the head I promised you?” She giggled, “I can do that quick.”

  
  
  


Rey didn’t wait for him to speak more, she started to kiss him again, only briefly before she kissed down his chest again, peppering his chest with her lips. Ben placed his hand in her hair to tell her that he did want this. Rey caught on, kissing further down his navel, reaching down to grab his cock, making Ben’s hips buckle under her touch. 

Rey gently stroked him, her mouth kissing the tip of his cock, letting her tongue pick up his pre-cum. Ben watched her open her mouth, taking the tip of his cock into her mouth, her lips closing around him. His grip in her hair tightened as she started to bob her head up and down. 

Rey looked up at Ben as she took him in her mouth, her hand stroking the base of his cock. She hollowed her cheeks, moving her head up and down faster. 

“God, R-Rey.” Ben moaned, “You look so pretty with my cock in your mouth.” He bucked his hips a little when he felt his cock hit the back of her throat. 

Ben’s eyes didn’t leave hers, just watching her take as much of him as she could. He saw her reach down under her, fuck she was touching herself. She moaned around him, pulling her head up and releasing him out of her mouth. 

“Ben,” Rey moaned, “Fuck, I am so wet,” Her tongue gave his cock head another lick before taking it into her mouth again. She sucked in but didn’t take any more if him in her mouth, just bounced her lips up and down. 

Ben felt that he was close to coming in her mouth; the way she took him in was driving him crazy. The image of her hand between her legs was also making him go mad, “Fuck Rey, I’m going to fuck you hard tonight. As soon as Poe and Finn are gone, I’m going to bend you over and fuck you.” Ben closed his eyes, pulling her hair tighter, bucking his hips up into her mouth. 

Rey moaned loud, pulling off him again, “Fuck Ben, I’m coming. Will you cum for me too?” Rey moaned again, her hand moving faster on him, needing him to cum. Her mouth was returning to wrap around his cock.

“Mmm, fuck Rey… I’m gon- I’m going to cu-cum!” He let go, cumming down Rey’s throat. 

Rey released him with a pop, kissing his cock with bright lips. 

Rey crawled over his lap to sit on his stomach again; he could feel her cunt on him. Still wet. Rey looked down at him, giving him a smug smile, “I told you I could fo it fast.”

“You did.” Ben laughed, “Fuck, you are amazing.”

Rey smiled, “Now, you can go.”

Ben laughed, “Oh, just gonna use me and kick me out?” He watched her roll off of him back onto the bed. “I mean what I said, “About after Finn and Poe leave.”

“Do you think you are going to be able to hold it in until then?” Rey teased as Ben rolled over to the side of the bed to stand up and find his clothes. He watched her as he rolled on his pants. 

“Yes, I can do that. I will wait for however long you need me too. Can you hold it in?” Ben smiled at her. 

Rey nodded, “I can.” Her eyes followed him as he walked around the bed to lean down and kiss her. Like this was normal like he’s done it times and times before. “Kiss me again,” Rey whispered. 

Ben felt like this was their moment, their time to be together because the second he walks out the door; it will be as though everything will reset. Like the next time she will see him, she will have just to be his friend. Not his lover, she can’t be  _ his _ in front of other people. So Ben did kiss her, a small kiss. 

* * *

  
  
  


Ben did get to work on time after rushing at home. He took a quick  _ cold _ shower, gabbed clothes, and ran out the door. 

Ben made his morning rounds at work, checking in on his patient’s medication and behaviors today. 

He will admit that his job is sad, seeing people with mental illness struggle every day. But he did enjoy his career because he knew he was making a difference in their lives, that he could help them. 

Once he was done, he started to head to his office to catch up on paperwork before the morning group check-in. While he was walking down the hall, he felt a hand on his back. Ben turned quickly, thinking it was going to be a patient. But it was a nurse. Nurse Connix. 

“Oh, hello.” Ben smiled down at her, “Is everything okay? I just did my rounds.”

“Oh! Yeah, I just wanted to say hello.”

Ben nodded at her, “Hello.” He started to turn away before she touched him again. 

“Well. Um not to be creepy Dr. Solo,” She laughed, “But I think you are best friends with the girl I am kind of seeing.” 

Ben blinked down at her, felt his heart pound in his chest, “Oh.” He said, his eyes widening, “Kaydel is your name?”

When she nodded, he felt like an idiot. How could he not know his nurse’s name? He sees her almost every day, but not once has he ever asked for her first name. He just knew her as Nurse Connix. Not Kaydel. 

This is Kaydel, Rey’s… fling? She is beautiful. She has a cute bubbly-ness about her that he likes. She is always able to talk patients out of fits of anxiety or rage. She is a good nurse, and he liked having her on his team. 

And now guilt has taken over him, his stomach feeling like knots. He needs to speak, talk to her. 

“Sorry, I did not know that. Rey has told me about you, but I didn’t know you were a nurse. My nurse. I’m sorry.” He repeated.

“No, it’s okay.” Kaydel smiled, “I didn’t tell her I knew you. I’m not sure why. I guess I didn’t want to freak her out. I don’t even think I told her I work in the psych department here.” She blinked, “Oh, wow. That sounds bad… Damn. Well, I’m not trying to keep my life from her or anything. We’re still getting to know each other and all.”

Ben watched her chatter, not sure if he was taking anything she said into thought. Because right now, he was thinking of how to tell Rey that he works with her girlfriend. 

Well, not her girlfriend. Her  _ not-girlfriend. _

Ben nodded at her, trying to seem as calm and collected as possible. 

“...Anyway,” She sighed, “I like her. Not sure where it is going. But I do know that I like her.” Kaydel was looking up at him with big eyes, “Maybe I will see you around. I mean obviously at work, but maybe with Rey some time.”

Ben nodded again, “Yes. I will see you in an hour for the group for sure.” Ben turned from her to head back to his office. The guilt in his gut weighing heavier with every step.

  
  


* * *

  
  


Rey had a beautiful day. Everything at work as simple; Han was in a good mood. She felt good. She even went home early because Han had told her, too, only had one more car to be checked in for the rest of the day or a side mirror repair. He and Chewie could do the oil changes needed if any. 

Ben was on her mind the whole day, hoping she was on his. Because the blow job she gave him was all, she could think about. His words were still ringing in her ears. 

_ “As soon as Poe and Finn are gone, I’m going to bend you over and fuck you.” _

She thought about him fucking her all day, bending her over the table, the counter, her bed. She would let him take her anywhere. And that is why as soon as she got home, she ran up to her room. 

She stripped naked and got into her bed, bringing her rabbit vibrator with her. Rey was dripping wet when she reached down to touch her pussy. “Fuck,” she moaned out loud, “Ben Solo, you have me fucked up.”

Rey closed her eyes as she turned on her vibe, opening her legs wide for herself. 

She teased her clit with the tip gently, images of Ben’s tongue in her head. Remembering the way he ate her last night, his big hands holding her thighs tight. 

_ His hands _ . Rey loved his hands; they were big and strong. She thought about his fingers, pushing the tip gently into her opening. Lifting her hips slightly into the air as she pushed it in herself, letting it stretch her out. It wasn’t big enough, but nothing will be now. Not that she’s had him inside of her. 

Rey started to pump in and out of herself quickly, the vibe hitting her clit with every stroke. She wasn’t going to last long. 

She heard her phone ding but ignored it. 

Flashes of Ben fucking her was all she could see behind her closed eyes, “Fuck me, Ben…” Rey arched her back, pushing the vibe into herself, riding the vibrations on her clit, “Ben, oh god... “She couldn’t help but chant his name. 

Rey came with a loud moan, feeling her cunt clench around her toy. She didn’t remove it until she caught her breath again, bringing herself back to reality. The reality that she was alone and Ben as not here fucking her. 

She rolled over to sit upon the edge of the bed. Rey reached to her nightstand to look at her phone. She had two text messages, one from Ben and one from Kaydel. 

Rey sighed; the feeling of guilt rush over her. Even though she and Ben will not be together, she knows Kaydel doesn’t deserve to be lied to. But she didn’t know, maybe Kaydel was sleeping with other people too. 

(3:30 pm)  **Kaydel:** Hey Rey :) Just wanted to say hi. Want to catch a movie tonight?

Rey quickly typed back: hi! I’m sorry, I can’t. Poe and his boyfriend Finn are going to come over. 

She felt a small amount of guilt for not saying that Ben would be here too. 

She swiped back to her messages to read the text from Ben. He sent it earlier this afternoon, but she hadn’t seen it until just know. 

(12:54 pm)  **Ben:** Hi Rey, I know Kaydel. She is my nurse. She came up to me this morning and told me that she was seeing you and you told her I was your best friend. I know that this isn’t a big deal, I just thought you should know. Call me when you see this, please. 

Rey felt her heart drop as she read that text. Her stomach was twisting with both shock and guilt.

“Things just have to be very complicated, don’t they?” Rey whispered to herself. She q=uickly dialed Ben’s number. He picked up at the first ring.

“Hi.” Ben said in a low whisper, “Did you read my text?”

“Yeah, I did. Are you good to talk? No crazy people needing you at this moment?” Rey laughed.

“No.” Ben laughed with her, “It’s not very nice to call them crazy people, by the way. Only I can call them that.”

“Oh, is that right?”

“Yes. It is.” Ben took a deep breath in, “But I am in my office now. I just wanted you to know that I work with your girlfriend.”

“You know she is not my girlfriend.” Rey snapped, “I knew she was a nurse, but I didn’t know where. I even showed her your picture yesterday. She didn’t say anything to me. How long has she been your nurse?”

“She told me she didn’t say anything, and she didn’t want to creep you out. But she also said she would enjoy hanging out in the future with the both of us.” Ben cleared his throat, “I think she likes you, Rey. And I know I should feel guilty, and I do. But I also feel like… I don’t care. Because even if you stay with her, I will still want to fuck you.”

Rey swallowed, “I’m not sure what I’m going to do. She asked me to hang out tonight, and I told her Poe and Finn were coming over. I didn’t say anything about you.”

“Because you feel bad. That I’m going to be the one making you cum. Not her.” Ben said in a deep voice, “Because I’m going to make you scream my name.”

Rey felt that right now wasn’t the best time to tell him that she was just screaming his name. 

“I will figure it all out.” Rey sighed, “I’m sorry, Ben.”

“I have to go. I will see you tonight?” 

“Yeah… Okay, bye, Ben.”

Rey had to sit and think about her life. With Kaydel in it. Or not. She knew she wanted Ben, and knew she was using Kaydel. But she wasn’t sure if she was done using her. 

“I’m horrible!” Rey dropped her head, “I’m so horrible.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well... how do you think Rey is going to deal with this? 
> 
> ;)   
> Well, let me know what ya think! I hope everyone is staying safe and healthy.

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you think! 
> 
> I promise the next chapter will kick start this whole thing! Maybe there will be smut? Maybe not? Again, I'd love any feedback!  
> I will try and update as soon as possible!  
> Like I said, I am not doing well. So it would be kind if anyone would honestly tell me how this is. I do need feedback so I can get better at writing.  
> DM on Tumblr- iwanttosayhello-o
> 
> Thank you :)


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